Planning a party, and doing OK
Every year I have a few large parties. My summer extravaganza is for the July 4th holiday, the other, during the doldrums of winter, is held under the guise of being a Superbowl party. Truth be told, I don't give a darned about football, but I do love having a good time with my family and friends.
What to serve is always my main concern. I ask people to bring an appetizer, so that part of the planning is taken is out of my hands. However, in today's culture of "I am allergic", "I have a condition", "I am lactose intolerant", " the smell of peanuts can send me to the ER", "I am on a special diet", "I'm a vegetarian but eat fish", or "I am a vegan and won't eat anything that was cooked in a pan that meat was once sauteed", can make a hostess' head spin. The vegetarian thing, I have down as two of my children have lived that way for many years. I have quite a few recipes where I can substitute soy and nobody is the wiser. After all these years, no guest has ever left my house and driven to the hospital or called the next day to tell me they are having gastronomical problems. I put myself in the winning column for that. I have had some "accidents" with dishes I have served, but they have been very few and it usually have to do with a forgotten (sometimes important) ingredient. However, we serve plenty of beer and wine and nobody has seemed to notice my faux pas.
Every year I have a "Superbowl party pool" where guests throw $5.00 in a basket and answer 25 questions about what they are going to watch that day. One of the questions is "Will Arleen burn something?" and I can tell you that some guests bet against me. It's a 5 pointer (where most dealing with the football game are 2 or 3 points), and can determine if you win the $100+ prize. This is where I find out who my true friends are and who will be left out of the will. There is a lot of pressure on me to hear that buzzer go off on the oven and this year I know I will be up for the task. I am also going to set a timer on my cell phone, my new iPad and the egg timer. I will show them I can have a party that does not set off the smoke alarm. Bet on me people, bet on me.
As far as my fake plastic fingernails are concerned, my dear friends, I will double-glue them. No explanation needed.