Friday, December 7, 2012

Mrs. Christmas and the Freaking Tree.

My  tree is up and decorated and I am doing OK.

Eleven years ago my hubby brought home an 11 foot fir tree for me to decorate.  We had just moved into our new home and had a few rooms with 15/20 foot ceilings.  He was so sure that I would love this blankety blank monstrosity.  My family will tell you that I am very fussy about decorating and spend most of the holidays tweaking the tree until I think it is perfect.  Up until then we had always had 6 to 7 foot trees that even though I obsessed about them, I enjoyed trimming.  That year I worked on what seemed to be a giant Sequoia planted in my living room, for two nights, crying and cursing all the way.  Much of the cursing came when I looked in the other room and saw hubby comfortably ensconced in his old man's chair, sipping on fine wine and enjoying some sporting event on the TV.   A line in the sand was drawn then and there.

Next year I took hubby (kicking and screaming) into our local big box store and purchased a 7 foot forever tree that we have had ever since.  We also bought a carousel stand and when the lights are on, the tree will turn.  I just stand there with box of ornaments and let the branches come to me.  Life got better.





Mr. Christmas Interactive Lights & Sound Ornament with VoiceActivation - H196662This year I have added something new that I thought would entertain the grandchildren.  Yes, it's cheesy and I am sure will become annoying, but right now I am enjoying it.  It is a frame shaped ornament that plays carols and whose workings are hooked into the indoor  tree's lights.  You do, though, have to be polite and say, "Hello Mr. Christmas" and have a conversation with the tree (so what's new about that).  Mr. Christmas will play the songs you request and the lights will blink along.  My only problem is that my tree is constantly spinning and Mr. Christmas, like many men, does not hear really well and when he is facing another direction, he tunes you out.

The first night we connected this acoustic marvel, I saw my husband running around and screaming into the tree, "Mr. Christmas, Mr. Christmas, MISTER CHRISTMAS and no lights went on and no songs were played.  In a spirit of the season, he said to me "This damn thing won't work" (and a few other choice words).

"Of course, I said, he won't respond to you if you talk to him like that.  You have to greet him with a hello, and then he will listen."

When greeted properly Mr. Christmas played Joy to the World, and hubby learned that manners can be fun. Fa, la, la!







46 comments:

  1. Priceless! If I had a carousel, my kids would probably rev it to the point the ornaments would come flying off the tree like snow missiles and they would figure out a way to program the current country western/. rock songs oniy.

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  2. Oh Arleen, this is so funny! I love that the tree turns in circles waiting to be dressed for Christmas. Your husband's conversation with Mr. Holiday reminds me of a conversation I had with Siri (spelling), the gal on the iPhone. I ask her a question and she was not giving me what I wanted. I told her she was worthless. She came back with, "I'm just trying to help". I can't even yell at a cell phone now. Have a wonderful day!

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  3. The kids are going to love that little ornament and yes, it will drive you crazy over time lol. I can just picture your hubs standing there screaming at the freakin' tree.."Mr Christmas, Mr Christmas". What a hoot.

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    1. He won't talk to him anymore. I think he is holding a grudge.

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  4. ROFL!! You just made my day! Thanks so much for this funny take on Christmas trees, decorations, and men. Hysterical! :-D

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  5. An 11 foot tree he picked out himself. I bet you were shocked. lol I like the ornament that sings. Hey your hubs seems a lot like mine. sandie

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  6. Hahahahahahahah!!!!! I can picture nearly every man I know yelling "Mr Christmas! Mr. Christmas!" and getting very torqued. What a joyous holiday sight! Thanks Arleen!

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  7. Oh how funny, you must talk to the tree and say hello before it will sing to you. And your tree goes around and around. How nice you now have the size of tree you want and can manage.

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    1. I see a table top tree in my future, but meanwhile, I am singing along with Mr. Christmas.

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  8. Did you get a video of that?? YouTube is calling his name...

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  9. Mr. Christmas is priceless. Those not talking to him will be laughing about him and it will be a jolly time for all.

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    1. Mr. Christmas can put you in a wonderful mood, at least for now.

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  10. I'm just a simple old fashioned boy. My tree will be cut from the woods on, or around, the 20th, and dressed with very old baubles, tinsel, and traditional Swedish decorations (Lady M is Swedish). It will not turn in circles, nor will it sing back to me when I swear at it. I will probably then ignore it until bonfire time on the 6th Jan.

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  11. Mr Christmas could (nearly) motivate me to get into the whole decorate the monster again. While the skinny portion watches TV and criticizes. I love this, and am so, so grateful for the smiles (which are in short supply about Christmas at the moment). Thank you.

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  12. This is such a cute story Arleen! I'm sure that your grandchildren will love Mr. Christmas!
    Julie

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  13. I have a frog that croaks Jingle Bells. Every year we haul him out hoping the battery is dead but the cold-blooded little sucker lives on.

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    1. I have to admit that when I would go into a store and see one of those fish on the wall that sang, I would always laugh.

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    2. Trust me, you wouldn't laugh if you HAD one of those singing so-and-so fish. And a couple of cats who approach it out of curiosity... over and over and over and...

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    3. I assume you have one of those fish. Not surprised. Don't tell anyone, but years ago, I almost bought one.

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    4. In my defense, it actually belongs to Smarticus. He received it as a gag gift at a ham radio party we went to years ago, and he pulls the darned thing out every year.

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  14. DEar Arleen, I loved the picture your words created of your husband running around the room shouting at the tree and trying to elicit a song from Mister Christmas! Thank you for this bubble of happiness within me right now.

    Like you, I have a permanent Christmas tree. I hope to get it set up and decorated tomorrow. I enjoy doing that because it's not as big as the tree I used to buy--just like you! And so I gave away about 3/4s of the ornaments I used to have. So now this is doable! Peace.

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    1. Although a real tree is lovely, they have become very expensive and take much more work. Doable at this point in life is the way to go.

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  15. Arleen,

    Just found you today (no, you weren't missing) and have to thank you for the best laugh in a long time. Without being Debbie Downer, I love Christmas and decorating my home. This year however I'm not doing anything as our oldest daughter passed away unexpectedly in June. OK, thanks again for the laugh and will become a follower.

    Denise

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    1. Dear Denise,

      Thanks for stopping by and I am glad I gave you a laugh.

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  16. What a fun post. I can just picture you cussing at that eleven-foot tree, not to mention his nibs relaxing in the other room while you were wrestling with the darned thing. Mr. Christmas sounds like a hoot. The grandkids will get a kick out of it. I hope it doesn't get to be as annoying as that singing so-and-so fish...

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    1. The music is very nice and it puts me in the holiday spirit, of course though, I might feel differently come December 31st.

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  17. I got tired of our permanent Christmas tree and got rid of it. This year we're decorating a potted "real" grapefruit tree I have grown from a pip. I'm fond of it and glad to dress it up for Christmas.

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  18. fun post. Mr. Christmas sound fun too. I let the kids decorate the tree..they are finally getting taller so the decorations are finally moving higher...

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  19. Your Christmas tree is beautiful!! Great blog :)

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  20. Always good to be polite to Mr. Christmas. And thanks for reminding me, my pitiful three foot plastic Christmas tree is still in the loft.

    Take good care and be well.

    Gary

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  21. I have never heard of a carousel for a tree! Where have I been?! :-)

    And now I'm just going to sit back and smile, imagining you speaking politely to the tree. :-)

    Pearl

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    1. No wooden horses are involved, although that would be more than fun.

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  22. Love the post and your tree - it is like a fairyland.

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  23. Your tree is beautiful. I can't help think that if one didn't know about the carousel and had imbibed a few too many ... Every year I try to convince my husband that a permanent Christmas tree would be such a good idea -- he will, however, have none of it.

    A very funny read and a great way to start the day!

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  24. OMG you're hilarious... and I can certainly relate to glancing over and seeing The Man sitting comfortably in his Recliner, Remote in hand & watching some NCIS Marathon or Sporting Event whilst I get Bohemian Valhalla in Order! *LOL*

    Dawn... The Bohemian

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  25. I found your blog today via Living Life. I can tell you are a kindred spirit. My husband and son used to have an annual fight over the placement of garland on the tree. One a perfectionist, the other not. Many is the year I could have happily picked up the tree, however big, and set about them in a frenzy of exasparation. Now I happily decorate the tree on my own, although the perfectionist still inspects it on the sly.

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