Thursday, April 28, 2011

My Retirement - Losing a Friend

Grieving, but doing OK


Being free and having fun
 Sixteen years ago my daughter Molly decided she wanted to move out, get an apartment and live with some friends.  Three months later she was back with her bags and a little surprise in her pocket.  Inside was this little ball of black fur with a white diamond spot on his chest and 4 white booties. His face was shaped similar to an alien so his name became Martian. He also had a broken tail that must have happened at birth, but it made him distinctive.  Like most kittens, he was adorable and hard to resist. We already had this experience when my son Andy had come back from college four years earlier with the same type of gift for us.  We gave great thought about accepting these presents, but hubby fell in love each time and so did I, so we adopted these two wonderful guys.

Casey was your typical short-hair, fat, lap cat who always wanted to be around you.  Martian was more aloof and we figured he might have some feral blood in him. Although he was very loving and playful,  he always sat at arms length away from you so that if you wanted to pet him, you had to bend or stretch.  This independent attitude made us appreciate and love him even more. Casey and Martian were great friends and often slept with their arms around each other with Casey taking the alpha role and Martian his devoted companion. Unfortunately, we lost  Casey 6 years ago to cancer and Martian seemed lost without him.  We did get him some other playmates but that did not work out as the newbees were sisters and wanted nothing to do with him and often pushed him to the wall when attention or food was handed out.  He was a wuss and allowed them to disrespect him.  However, he was smarter than those two bullies put together.

I will not bore you with cat stories, but let me say that this beautiful, sweet guy was there for me on many occasions. I suffer from terrible leg cramps at night and when I was in pain and screaming from them, he would scratch at the door to get to me.  If I was sad and crying, he would sit beside me. When I have fallen, he would come running to watch over me. He had so many dog-like personality traits and despite his small size, he had a big heart.

Today we lost our Marchie.  He had been losing weight for the past few months and we thought it had to do with his hypothyroid disease, but it was cancer.  Every day we saw more of him waste away and we did everything we could to prolong his life, just as much for us as for him.  Last night things became very bad and today hubby, who heart was breaking, took him for his last ride to the vet. 

Martian in Old Man's Chair

Those of you who are blessed with a pet will understand my grief, those who are not animal people will not.  Then there is that anti-cat bias.  So many people who are dog people find cats useless and not as important or as fun as dogs.  I was one of those people as I was raised in a house with many dogs and had no real feeling towards "the other house pet."  Then Casey and Martian entered my life. Most animals will bring you companionship and will wrap themselves around your heart and you are the better for it.  My life was so enriched with this little guy.

Martian was very special, smart, and a great pet.  I will miss him so

My beautiful friend


  1. Oh my dear, I am sitting here with tears running down my face. My heart goes out to you. What a beautiful baby he was.

  2. I know how you feel. We lost our Tessie on Aug 02, 2008. She was 18 and had been our faithful feline companion for all those years. She was definitely a part of the family. Yes have two other cats, but neither can or will ever take Tessie's spot.

  3. Pets are like four-legged furry kids, and it's never easy to take one of them to the vet for that last ride. My heart goes out to you.

  4. Our pets give so much love and pleasure that it is natural to feel heartbroken at their loss. My heart goes out to you.

  5. He's absolutely beautiful. Cats are so wise. Like you said, they DO know when something is wrong with a human they love, though many people write off animals as incapable of that type of emotion/thinking. I'm sorry about your loss, and wish you healing.

  6. Hey you guys....I am so sorry...I have been gone and just read it...Martian was very know I am a dog person....let me correct that...I am an "animal" person and have taken that last horrible ride to the vet a few never will get easier and it will take awhile to feel better...but you will...and as much as you say never again...another one will come along in your lives that will be very special in a totally different way...I lost my Benny a year ago and can still get very sad if I think about him....take care...Love you!!!

  7. Hello:
    This is so sad and is definitely the part of owning a pet that is so very, very difficult to deal with. Martian looks to have been absolutely lovely and, as cat lovers ourselves, we are sure that you must all be feeling a great sense of loss.

    Unlike dogs, cats are always so much more free-spirited but they still always seem able to sense when things are not right and are prepared to stay steadfastly at one's side.

    We have loved and lost many times and our thoughts are with you.

  8. Oh, I am so sorry for you. We lost our two wee dogs in the same year - it is so dreadfully difficult. Be well.

  9. Thank you everybody for your kind words I really appreciated your thoughtful comments.