Repeating myself with an oldie (and hopefully goodie) today, but I am trying to catch up on things that should have been done a few weeks ago. Other than that, I am doing OK.
Looking for Perfection
Hubby has worked most of his life in Quality Control. This is perfect for a person with borderline OCD. Was he born this way? Possibly, since he is the oldest and as we have all read in countless articles on the Internet, first borns are the most driven. I was second born and am more in the slower lane, although my family may have something else to say about that. I guess I have my own crazies, but that is another subject.
Hubby looks for mistakes, searches for imperfections and finds satisfaction in any flaw he finds. You say that is a negative trait, no, no, he will tell you. It is necessary and the world and I am better off knowing what is wrong so these things can be corrected and then we will all live a more satisfying life.
The question always arises in our family as what to get as a present for H. Give him a sweater or shirt, he will look for the loose thread. Any item you present to him, he will closely inspect, turning it over a few times and if he has not found any failings, he will smile and everyone will rejoice.
Looking for Perfection
Hubby has worked most of his life in Quality Control. This is perfect for a person with borderline OCD. Was he born this way? Possibly, since he is the oldest and as we have all read in countless articles on the Internet, first borns are the most driven. I was second born and am more in the slower lane, although my family may have something else to say about that. I guess I have my own crazies, but that is another subject.The question always arises in our family as what to get as a present for H. Give him a sweater or shirt, he will look for the loose thread. Any item you present to him, he will closely inspect, turning it over a few times and if he has not found any failings, he will smile and everyone will rejoice.
Now that spring has arrived, he has accompanied me on my walk-abouts in the neighborhood. We cannot go past two or three homes without his commenting on the state of someones lawn. Dandelions and flowering weeds are not permissible in his eyes. However, now that most of the offending plants have gone away due to lawnmowers, he is having a more relaxed walk and I, a more pleasant one.
As much as all of this drives me up a wall, I do see some merit in his quest for excellence. Heck, we have lawyers out there raking in millions for mistakes people and companies make. None of us wants to be a victim of errors in judgement or product failure. However, no one and no thing is infallible. Living with inadequacies is a good thing, it helps put things in perspective. Mistakes are made because we are human and we all learn more from these than our accomplishments. It is about realizing not everything is important, letting things go and smiling and laughing at our failings.
I must say though because hubby is hubby, my family has lived a good life. I do like that I can count on him to fix things, to have remedies for problems and because of his peccadilloes, I always have a good story.
Well for sure he'll never be out of a job lol.
ReplyDeleteHello Arleen:
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing one comes to realise about people is that one cannot really change them and, we are sure, warts and all, that you adore old H. However, we are certainly in the camp of 'good enough' is absolutely good enough and that striving for perfection is a depressing and unsatisfying road to follow. Indeed, we rather like imperfections, curiosities and things not quite as they 'should' be, it adds for interest in our book. "Vive les différences"!!!!
My husband is "fussy about kitchen things". That means he mutters and moans when I fail to tighten the drain filter after washing the dishes and cleaning out the filter.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think I'd run up the credit cards! Oddly, that kind of thing doesn't bother him as much.
I like all the different kinds of us. I do admit it has taken twenty five years of living with two personalities as different from each other as they are foom me to bring me to peace and understanding of It Is What It Is. Trite. Banal. And the final word.
ReplyDeleteI've got one of those, too! He is in the living room right now have a word or two with the television. I hate watching the news with him and detective stories are very difficult. Whenever the denouement comes he informs whoever is the guilty party to 'not say a word ... it's all circumstantial'! It's almost endearing!
ReplyDeleteAin't that the truth! My hubby is a constant source of stories, amusement, laughter, and extreme frustration. 40 years worth!
ReplyDeleteArleen, I don't know how I feel about the birth order thing. My own "love" is in the middle of six and has some of the same traits. Me? I am the baby, and it makes me sick to my stomach to make a mistake I cannot correct. I am learning to breathe and let it go. I think! Love your post. Bonnie
ReplyDeleteQuality control is a good thing; it prevents life-destroying disasters. It seems that it would take someone with great patience to do that. And it gives people (like present-buyers) an easy framework within which to work.
ReplyDeleteStill, I can see how that is annoying, at times.
If imperfections were a criminal offence, I would have been shot at birth. I trust your husband and I will never meet!
ReplyDeleteSounds like your hubby more than makes up for his "peccadilloes," by being so helpful around the house. He's also a good sport about providing you with material!
ReplyDeleteThis was definitely worth repeating!
Julie
Dear Arleen, in reading your explanation of why your husband looks so assiduously for flaws, I'm reminded of what I read long ago about trying to be perfect. It seems that the Persian rug weavers/makers always leave a flaw in their carpets. They believe that a perfect rug is the prerogative only of God. And so, to show their humility and their dependence on God, they leave that flaw. Interesting, yes? Peace.
ReplyDeleteA most Beautiful way of looking at Life, exercising Faith and keeping a humble Heart. I knew of this because I am a zealous Persian Rug Lover and have them all over the house!
DeleteDawn... The Bohemian
Sounds like you're balancing the negative with the positive. It's all good. My other half doesn't notice anything unless you stick it under his nose!! Hmmm....6 of one; half dozen of the other. Hope you stay warm and comfy this weekend.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is much more of a nit-picker and sweater of the small stuff than I am, but around our house, "quality control" means sampling my cookies when they're still warm from the oven.
ReplyDeleteHi Arleen,
ReplyDeleteI hope your hubby doesn't check this comment for typos or any grammatical errors! :)
Oh my goodness, despite it all, your quality control has a good quality of life. Which reminds me, must make sure my pillows are directly centre on my bed.
Have a pleasant weekend and thank you for your kind words on my site. Very much appreciated.
Gary
You do, Arleen.
ReplyDeleteI think it's as hard to be an over-critical person as it is to live with one. Most critics are the hardest on themselves. It's wonderful that you're patient. :-)
ReplyDeleteThe Man is the Perfectionist in our Family, he is very Organized, Methodical and Detail oriented. Over the years he has learned to relax more with Organized Chaos, as I call it, and the Spontanaety of an OCD Wife that finds Beauty in the Imperfections and prefers the flawed to the pristine... and can take off on a Grand Adventure with absolutely no Planning or thought to the Destination whatsoever, the Journey is what I Live for... so I don't really care if I ever 'Arrive'. *Smiles*
ReplyDeleteBlessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
What? Spring has arrived? Where are you - on the equator?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, it sounds like your hubby's job is well-fitted to his personality!
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My whole family are different shades of nitpickers. The real wonder is how do we live with them for so long, and not kill them?
ReplyDeleteyou guys seem to have found a beautiful balance!
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a scientist and pulls apart every hypothesis, I mean statement, I make. If you watch the Big Bang Theory then you will understand when I say I'm Penny and he's Sheldon.
ReplyDeleteIf your hubbies are nit pickers and over critical, at least it shows they have noticed you have a pulse !! 'nuf said !
ReplyDelete