The blizzard of the century never came here, and I am doing OK.
There are different phases of life that we all pass through. There is childhood, followed by the joys and angst of coming of age, which leads us to an awakening with great expectations. Slowly, though, we creep into a sometimes begrudging acceptance, but this is replaced by a new awakening, and then back to (a comfy) acceptance of most of the things that have annoyed us in the past. I have gone through them all with laughter and tears and have now arrived at a new stage of life. Yes, I have entered my grunting years.
Recent examples:
Getting up from a sitting position. = 2 grunts.
Getting off the floor = 5 grunts (7 if the temperature is over 80 degrees F)
Sitting down after some activity = 1 aah and 2 grunts
Sitting down in a deep chair = 3 grunts followed by a loud aah
Answering a question I answered 5 minutes ago = one loud sigh and 2 grunts
Answering that question again = 3 very loud grunts followed by feeling guilty
Opening a bottle or jar that now seems to be sealed with crazy glue = 6 grunts and some nasty words
The lowly grunt has its place and I have accepted it as part of my life. It is good to still be heard.
There are different phases of life that we all pass through. There is childhood, followed by the joys and angst of coming of age, which leads us to an awakening with great expectations. Slowly, though, we creep into a sometimes begrudging acceptance, but this is replaced by a new awakening, and then back to (a comfy) acceptance of most of the things that have annoyed us in the past. I have gone through them all with laughter and tears and have now arrived at a new stage of life. Yes, I have entered my grunting years.
Recent examples:
Getting up from a sitting position. = 2 grunts.
Getting off the floor = 5 grunts (7 if the temperature is over 80 degrees F)
Sitting down after some activity = 1 aah and 2 grunts
Sitting down in a deep chair = 3 grunts followed by a loud aah
Answering a question I answered 5 minutes ago = one loud sigh and 2 grunts
Answering that question again = 3 very loud grunts followed by feeling guilty
Opening a bottle or jar that now seems to be sealed with crazy glue = 6 grunts and some nasty words
The lowly grunt has its place and I have accepted it as part of my life. It is good to still be heard.
I chuckle because I also share those grunts and aaaah. I would add a groan now and then.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, it helps to groan as we rise.
DeleteHello Arleen,
ReplyDeleteThis is such fun.......and would be highly amusing were it not so incredibly accurate! Oh dear.....
We now have a mental picture of you, clad in lilac, on your sofa issuing orders and grunts to anyone within earshot. If you follow our example you will also have an indecently large glass of red wine to hand from which copious amounts are being drunk before dinner. Grunting lessens after this.......and aaahhhhs increase!
No issuing orders from me, Jane and Lance. No matter how many grunts that come from me, I'd rather do it myself than ask another. However, I would certainly have that glass of fine wine. It does help to take the pain away and makes life more enjoyable.
DeleteOooofs and Oooohs over here as well.
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot of o's in your expressions, Delores. I save those for when my husband is around in order to get more sympathy.
DeleteYour description of the condition is spot on and very funny. I love how our grandchildren look at us with some puzzlement as we sink very slowly into a chair and wonder at the accompanying noises.
ReplyDeleteYes, Susan, we seem to emit more noises the older we get.
DeleteI haven't tried the floor in some time--thankfully.
ReplyDeleteSmart woman!
DeleteArleen thank you for this lovely blog - you made me laugh, mainly because I can identify with every grunt. So glad the predicted snow didn't happen in your little part of the world. It looked pretty horrendous on our news.
ReplyDeleteDear Molly,
DeleteThe storm didn't happen in many places they predicted it would. The news people just like to sensationalize everything. When I listen to them, I grunt 10 times.
Admirable and comprehensive frequency analysis of grunts. For forty tears, I actually was a grunt and worked very hard at being a good one, then retired and found I could make more money as a geezer than as a grunt. Now I just count my money and geeze.
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny, Geo.
DeleteI like geezers. They are usually very wise.
Oh my gosh I am a grump-er too! Er I mean grunt-er!
ReplyDeleteSuch a nice lady like you, Sandi, would never be a grump-er.
DeleteGrunters of the world unite.
ReplyDeleteGetting up from the floor or the garden is a grunt-fest for me. Fuelled by rather a lot of language.
I got a wonderful gardening kneeler-bench to get me off the ground when planting. It is a wonderful tool and I only grunt once or twice when using it.
DeleteI am pleased that your house is not under a blanket of snow. I am not sure about “grunts” but I do a lot of French “rrrah” type – it’s a sound you make with your mouth when you expel air when you are exasperated – these I make often! Although, with my arthritic knees, after sitting by the computer for a while and then standing up – the sound is more like a “ouch!”
ReplyDeleteI bet a grunt sounds so much better in French.
DeleteMy almost-every-move is accompanied by the word OUCH. Not that I'm in pain; it's just become a habit.
ReplyDeleteThat is very true, Cro. The thought of lifting myself is worse than the deed.
DeleteLove "The Grunting Years!" May I audition for Mrs. Grunt? I'm also impressed that you can get up off the floor! What's your position on toilet seats?! This was hilarious, Arleen!
ReplyDeleteJulie
If you want the title, it is all yours, Julie.
DeleteI agree with you on all of the grunts. Oh yeah, my worst one is getting up from a crouching position. Such as bending at the knees, in a squat, to look for something in a lower cabinet. Oh, dear God. I have to have something to grab onto to pull myself up. Tragically, this is not age...it's being totally out of shape. If I could be really athletic and lean, it would be just for this one act.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laughs..the last post, too. And your visit...so nice.
Jane xxx
Before I get down, I always try to make sure there is something to grab onto to get me up. I also never buy anything in the grocery store that is on the bottom shelf.
DeleteLaughing. I'm trying to keep those grunts in, but no matter how I try, they sneak out anyway. I live where the "Storm of the Century" did hit. I decided though, if there were no TV/new/weather casters to get us all quivering, we'd say, "Well, yes, that was a bad storm" and get on with things.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I have seen on the news, New England really got hammered with the snow and winds. I hope this next storm will be kinder to you.
DeleteLol! Is it bad that I'm doing this grunting in my 40s??! :-) Always love visiting your blog and getting a laugh. Wonderful picture up top! Happy 2015!
ReplyDeleteI know your 2015 will be happy indeed. Much happiness to you and T, Tracy Jo.
DeleteMaybe, that woman on the sofa IS NOT YOU!
ReplyDeleteHer boobs are certainly larger and my hair is lighter.
DeleteYou're not alone in your grunting, Arleen. You're keeping good company! lol I'm a grumpy, cranky, growling grunter! And, yes...sometimes all at the same time!
ReplyDeleteTake care. :)
One thing leads to another, Lee.
DeleteSorry, got side-tracked by your fish.
ReplyDeleteI can't say as a grunt as much as moan when I have to get up quickly. I need a moment to stretch out the body, lol! Especially in the winter. :-)
I enjoyed your article and made me laugh.
Sia McKye Over Coffee
I am wondering what fish you saw.
DeleteMoaning takes longer and is more effort than a grunt.
The odd assortment of grunts, groans and grumbles isn't nearly as disconcerting as the involuntary sounds my joints make. I snap, crackle, pop and click more than a bowl of rice crispies covered in champagne. Um. not that I've ever tried that combo. (Not nearly enough fiber!)
ReplyDeleteFunny post, because it's all too true, dammit.
Happy weekend!
Between the snap, crackle, and pop and the other assorted noises we emit, our bodies have become a one man band.
ReplyDeleteWhat utter fun.
ReplyDeleteI know all about grunting, in fact, I have become a champion grunter without any effort at all.
Is 't it nice to be a champion at something?
DeleteHello! I wanted to thank you for your latest visit and your really nice comment...I can't find an email address!! Let me know if I've gone blind! lol!
ReplyDeleteJane xxx
I really like you blog, Blondie.
DeleteYou're so funny! Yes, I admit to some grunts. Mostly it's cracks though. My knees crack when I get off the couch. Sometimes my knees and ankles crack all the way to the kitchen. Glad I'm not a cat-burglar! :)
ReplyDeleteCracking comes first, then comes the grunt.
DeleteThat is a funny post - made me laugh. I guess there is a whole language of grunts! :D
ReplyDeleteNobody wants to speak the language of grunt, but it happens to us all eventually.
DeleteSoooo funny !! Good to remember, though...LOL !
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda.
DeleteSo true, particularly those jars.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I get so frustrated that I just want to break the jar.
DeleteCould not count the grunts getting off the floor. Or maybe no grunts as the rescue squad would be pulling me up. I'm in GruntLand, too.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am on the floor, I always make sue ther is a chair or something around to help me get up. It's not easy.
DeleteHope you didn't break nothing.
ReplyDelete