A Day in Hades

Winter is almost gone, although it never really arrived, and I am doing OK


I do not usually do the food shopping.  When we were first married, we used to do this outing together, but then I kept having babies, so hubby took over that chore.  He loves doing it, I hate it and so this worked out perfectly for both of us.  Now and then I will run to the store to get a limited number of items that I have written on a list and only enjoy it if the store is small and  running the aisles does not take up a great deal of time.  Hubby can be gone for up to three hours and will go from store to store looking for simple items.  He looks over each purchase, checking dates, prices and flaws.  He does all the right things; I don't.  I want to get in and get out.  However, when I shop, we actually have the makings for a meal; when hubby shops, we have cartons of paper towels, plastic bags, and the latest new blue food.  "New, blue, and improved" is his mantra.  This is one of the reasons we eat out quite a bit.

Last week we couple-shopped at one of the largest grocery stores known to man.  It is called Wegman's and is a heaven for foodies with time on their hands. These stores can have 140,000 square feet with aisles going here, there and everywhere.  The store is packed with over 70,000 food and non-food products, large masses of people with giant grocery carts and what seems like more employees than the federal government.  Many of the departments were giving out samples that day  and hubby was on a master-quest not to miss any of them.  We must have sampled 4 or 5 soups, tasted all types of imported and local cheese, had my arm twisted to try a decadent dessert, and finished up with some beer. During all of this, I managed to pick out some things to buy, but hubby took each item out of the basket to check over and give his seal of approval. Consequently, most of what I had put in the basket went back on the shelf.  I was getting heartburn from not only the food that I had consumed on the run, but from the anxiety of shopping together in a store that was out of my element.   It is not that I did not appreciate all the variety, but the crowds, the expanse of the store, the time wasted looking for items that always seemed to be on the other side (which was like a mile down the road), but mostly it was the shopping-togetherness that was causing heart palpitations - big time.  After two and a half hours we made it outside with our four or five little bags of cheese and ingredients to make tomato-basil soup. Before we left, hubby did suggest that we stop at Wegman's restaurant for more to eat and maybe a glass of fine wine.  He had no idea that I was not having fun.  How could he have missed my crazed eyes, my quivering chin and my body language of angst, pure angst.  A glass of wine, no way, I needed the whole bottle after a trip like that. 

I had to get a physical checkup a few weeks ago before I underwent a small procedure last week. My sweet old doctor asked me how I was doing in my retirement.  After I told him that things were improving, he left me with some sage advice for long-term couples.  He reminded me of the marriage vow, "in sickness and in health", then he added the line, "but never lunch."  To expand upon that, I would include "and never shop together at Wegman's unless you want till death do you part to come sooner.

I think next time we should try four-aisle Trader Joe's. It's all about baby steps.  Maybe then we can work our way up to a 6 aisle Whole Foods in a year or so.

Yes, baby steps, that's the ticket!