Holidays have started and though a little exhausted, I am doing OK.
Feeding frenzy of the mind.
During this time of year we find ourselves running in so many directions. Got to do, got to go, got to make everybody happy, got to, got to, got to! This year, I thought things would be much easier since I am no longer a part of the working world and free time, which used to elude me in the past, is now a big chunk of my life. This would be the year when things would all get done in a more orderly and stress-free environment. I would have time to do things at a slower pace, I would enjoy the season and life will be beautiful! However, what I have found is that this is not my modus operandi. I manage and get so much more accomplished when I have to fit things in, when chaos surrounds me, and deadlines loom. I am at my best when I feel that my energy and brain are about to be placed in a vise and I have to figure my way out of a dilemma. Dare I say, stress invigorates me.
In this past 11 months though, with little stimulus, I have lived in manana land. Because there are no time constraints (unless when hubby - Mr. Time - comes home), I have put off many of the things that I was sure I would accomplish. At night time, I think of what great task I will do the next day, and when tomorrow rolls around, I decide that I will put it off till the next tomorrow. For many of my plans, that day has has not come around. However, the holidays are here and I really do have a deadline. I need to make Christmas happy for my family (my own obsession), my wonderful California family will be visiting, and decisions on what new electronic gadgets I should buy my grandchildren are looming. To add to this I got a volunteer job last week, that requires me to think, make decisions, and contribute to the good of a community. I also decided that after a year of failing eyesight, that I would do something about it and it will include a small surgery. All this now, no manana. Oh, how glorious these days will be, I will be useful again, I will be back on the treadmill , I will become zombie like. Yes, I will complain, I will curse the damn tree, I will feel that I need to do more, I will be exhausted. That is who I am and it feels good to be home again.