Thursday, July 7, 2011

My Retirement - Cool Girl

Hot summer and I am doing OK

The "In Crowd"

Most people, at some point of their lives, want to belong to the hip, cool crowd.  We want to be popular and accepted.  As we mature, this becomes less important as our values change.  Being an individual and being true to ourselves and beliefs are more what we aspire to be.  However, there is always that yearning to be accepted by some one or some group.

There is a comedian named Kathie Griffin who has a show called "My Life on the D-List.  I have never watched the program, but I have seen her on other talk shows and she is not my cup of tea. I find her foul-mouthed and cruel.  However, the title of her show is funny and we all might have related to this at some point in our lives, especially in our younger years.

To many people I have appeared to be an extrovert, but deep inside there has been this lump in my belly that screams "I'm scared".  I have used a sense of humor to hide this dark secret.  Over the years, I have learned to be comfortable with myself and although I lack confidence in many aspects, I find that I now fit my britches very well.  Wish it happened sooner. 

As a teenager and young woman, I was never on the "A" list. Once or twice, I may have hit the border line B-;  think I belonged on or around C; know I touched the D and maybe E or F,  so I guess I traveled in many circles. I look at the C group as being sort of nerdy, naive but opinionated, doesn't walk between the lines bunch of people. It is a real comfy place to be.  This group does not have to be perfect, but we are inventive, Miss or Mr. America we aren't, but we are Bill Gates. We can move up the list as Bill did, but where can you go if you start out in "A". 

Now though, in the latter part of my life, I look at my smart, funny friends and see that yes,  somewhere along my life, I moved up.  This is the greatest group of people ever.  Our friendships have lasted almost 40 years and we have had a wonderful time.  Our kids admire our closeness and think we are cool.  Cool, I finally made it, or maybe I always was and didn't know it.


  1. It was tough being a kid and being female wasn't it?

  2. Hello Arleen:
    It is just the most perfect point of one's life when one realises that one really does not care about how one will be judged by others. One realises that friends will be there alongside no matter what and family are, well, just that.

    We are sure that you have been COOL always but, as you say, now you can realise it for yourself and enjoy!!

  3. Dear Lance and Jane,
    Thank you very much, I know you both have always been very cool!

  4. You sound so much like me! I like things gently funny and to laugh with people. Foul mouthed and cruel ....... definitely a no no!

  5. You were always cool and didn't know it.

  6. I think the big bad secret is that all people, no matter how "cool" or successful the rest of the world judges them to be, harbor that scared little kid inside who craves acceptance while suspecting he doesn't truly merit it. Being aware of that basic insecurity and need for acceptance makes it much easier to relate to other people, and to be comfortable with them, no matter what their station in life.

  7. I have never been 'cool', but I have always been unique, I think. Watching people groups have been much more interesting, at least most of the time.

  8. How times change! We all used to worry about being hip. Now we worry about needing one.