My Retirement - Waiting to Sneeze

Stocking up on tissues, but doing OK

Achoo

I woke up this morning to the  news of the dreaded "allergy season".  I have spent the better part of the last 40 years blowing my nose.  I am allergic to the heat, the air conditioning, the spring pollen and the fall ragweed.  Cats also contribute to my very red nose and we have three in our family.  Hubby dotes on them and they calm the beast in him.  His life is better with the cats and therefore so is mine.   

Over the years I have taken most of the over-the-counter drugs along with prescription medicine and that has helped some times, mostly though the allergies have won out and sneezing and coughing are just part of my persona now.  I go nowhere without a packet of Kleenex.  There are always tissues stuck up the sleeve of my sweater (a habit of women over 50). I wear only clothes with pockets to store my always needed accessory.  I had an operation a few years ago to clean out my sinuses and I was almost allergy-free for awhile.  My voice went up 5 octaves and people did not recognize me on the phone. However, within the year, my new found higher tone returned to what sounded like Lauren Bacal after 70 years of smoking.  I have never smoked but my dad did and I wonder if that had any bearing on me and all my siblings having asthma or chronic sinus problems. 

Last year I got a terrible cough that after many visits to doctors and 7 months of trying to catch my breath, finally went away.  When people heard me coming toward them,  they made a wide berth around me.  I kept saying  "it's allergies, it's allergies, but most people acted like I might have the black plague.  It is finally gone and I have been breathing almost normally (for me), and now I go into spring feeling better than I have in a long time.  I am praying for a not-too-hot summer so we won't have 24 hour air conditioning like last year which can cause some of my misery.  Most of the trees are in bloom and the others should all be out within the week.  I am not going to listen to the pollen report and maybe not knowing how bad it is will make my body not give in.  I am going with that thought.  Ignorance is bliss.
   

My Retirement, Hot Damn, It Is Blooming Time

Oh, my aching back, but doing OK

My Obsession

I so look forward to this season and all the joy and hope it brings.  I am a planter, a gardener and the beauty of the flowers and greenery are orgasmic to me.  As a woman and mother, the birth of anything comes from my soul and defines me.  However, when it comes to gardening,  I am over the top and admit it.  I want to cut down and be reasonable, but when I see a new plant, my heart beats a little more and all objectivity goes out the window.  Every year I tell myself and family that I will do less, but it never happens.  I find a new species, a new color and even though I have exhausted every pot I have and planted in every garden we have cut out, I walk around my yard with that one extra plant in my hand searching for a little bit more room for which to put that "needed" flower.

Being home this winter has been somewhat difficult for me.  Days could be dark and long and sometimes it did not seem possible to escape the dreariness that the season could bring.  However, I did not let it overcome me and although there have been some down times, I knew to look forward and try to be optimistic about what life had for me. Spring is now popping out all over and my time has come, but what will I do.  Cleaning out my gardens (which is the most laborious part) did a job on my back.  Yikes, the ground seems so much lower and getting up again seems like climbing a mountain.  I am not as agile as I use to be. However, my infirmities may be a cure for my over-zealousness.  It could be a blessing. We will see. 

Some of the local garden nurseries have opened, but they have mostly spring flowers now that will only bloom for a few weeks.  I know better than to invest too much money into those, although I will buy a few to put here and there to lift my spirits.  The true test for me will be when the summer annuals come in the first week of May.  I will breathe heavier, have a few heart palpitations and hopefully this year also have some common sense.  Less is more, less is more, less is more - Maybe

It could be worse, I could be a cat hoarder.

My Retirement - Fashionista

Warming up and doing OK

Style is my middle name.

How long do you keep clothes?  Do you still have outfits that you have only worn once or twice that you save because you might have other events where you could possibly wear them again, but you never will?  One problem is that they may no longer be the right size.  They have shrunken in the closet. Possibly this happened due to the darkness or lack of moisture, I'm not sure, but we still do not want to part with them.   I hear ya.

Trolling through my closet, trying to sort out what I am going to give to Goodwill, I came upon quite a few of these lovely garments that I once had to have.  Some are easy to pass on to a charity, but others I look at and have a certain level of anxiety about giving away.  I am not talking about recent items I have bought, I am speaking of "vintage".  I have gotten rid of most of those "wedding/special events outfits", but a few remain.  There is no legitimate reason for this, I will never wear them again, but I look at them with a certain longing.  I once felt good in these; they were a size I starved myself to get into, or it was for a very special occasion that I am nostalgic about.   Then there is the thought that I keep holding onto, that I will wear them again someday, even though I know they are no longer age and body appropriate. Time might have stood still in my closet, but time has not been as kind to me.  I think I might be at the point in my life where I should just consider wearing boxy outfits that are black with big flowers.

I am not a hoarder, just a sentimental old woman.  I will confess that I still have my going-away dress from my wedding almost 44 years ago, another dress that I wore on my honeymoon (and only one more time afterwards), and a really cool dress I wore to a New Years Eve's party in 1970.  I do not have my wedding dress; that was in the attic of our home that we moved from 10 years ago and hubby said that after being in that crawl space for an hour trying to find it, he gave up looking   This was definitely a one-occasion dress though, and once is enough for that.  It was possibly eaten by the four-legged critters that we would hear running around up there for years.

Hanging on to clothes is not only a woman's thing, as hubby has a bright-red ice fishing jacket that he has not worn in over fifty years still hanging in the wardrobe in our basement.  Add to this, his Air-Force outfit (got out of the service in '67), and countless shirts and ties that have laid untouched for years.

My daughters have been the recipients of some of my "fancy" clothes. They have worn them as costumes for "Back to the 80's" parties they have given.  I have not taken offense as I am sure they were celebrating my good taste even though the word costume does denote something funny. Let me just say that one was a long, gold lame` Cleopatra-type outfit with a split all the way up the side of the leg and the other was a floor-length purple, 100% polyester number with floppy sleeves. Oh, what a fashionista I was!  Today, I could not get one leg or one boob in either of them. Again, as I stated, the darkness or moisture of the closet shrunk them.

Now I have granddaughters and I took out that 70's New Year's Eve very short dress to show them what the styles were many years ago. The tag inside this dress says "Wendy of London", and because of the Beatles and the fashion they inspired, we were very into anything British during those times and I had to have it.  It probably cost all of $50, but that was a lot of money back then. It is gold threaded on a snake-skin pattern silk material with buttons down one sleeve.  I still think it is kind of neat and I will have to put it in my will for one of my three daughter - so they can keep it in their closet for 40 or so years.

I wonder why I threw away that red polka-dot hot pants outfit that I actually wore to a wedding.  They just don't make clothes like that anymore.

 Memories, from the corner of my mind, misty water colored memories, from the way we were.

My Retirement - Being a Critic

Loving to laugh and doing OK

I love the movies.  Since I was about 8 years old, I have had an affair with the cinema. When I was young and nobody worried that you would be stolen or molested, my mother let me walk to the movies with my friend Peggy and sometimes my brother to see the Saturday matinees. The Wakefield theater may have been a mile or so away and P.S. we lived in Bronx, NY, but that was many years ago and who knew anything; there was no Internet of fear. Every week we were there with our $.35 for the show and $.12 for candy.  I always choose to eat Juju Bees because that would get you through at least one of the movies as they stuck to the teeth and it would take hours for the flavor to disintegrate.  I say one of movies, because the $.35 included an "A" listed color musical and a "B" listed (usual) gangster black and white flick.  Also included was a race (as in horse or car) serial where you had a chance to bet on a horse or car race and then some cliff-hanger serial which insured you would be back the next week with your $.47.  There were at least 2 or 3 cartoons included in the package also.  It was a great babysitter for Mom and my life was good. These weekly visits made me love everything about film and good stories. The 50's seem like an easier time (for some).

There are very few good stories for me now, even though I still love the movies. (enthralled by "The King's Speech."). Quite a few years ago I became a fan of the independent film industry because they usually make films that have real, well-written stories. However, sometimes Hollywood still comes up with a winner.  Two of my favorite movies of all times are The Color Purple and Out of Africa.  In OOA, the main characters talk about the story, and how important it is to the soul to hear a well-told tale.  It has been going on forever, from the cave drawings to Egyptian hieroglyphics to today.  The imagination is always captured in the story.  All those special effects, surreal sequences, dream within a dream and down and dirty crap cannot take it's place.  It is about the storyteller and their imagination. I grew up when times were different and not only did you share rooms with siblings but you shared beds.  Every night my sister Sue, who was so smart and imaginative, would tell me a story that she would make up on the spot. I could not go to sleep until she finished her bedtime tale.  I have been in love with "the story" ever since.

So now I am going to critique a recent movie.  All the critics have panned this latest remake, however, I really liked it.  I usually am with the press on movies and tend to go or not go to the theater based on their reviews.  However, I liked this movie and they did not.  It is called "Arthur" and stars Russell Brand and Helen Mirren.  I have no idea who else was in this movie because my eyes were focused  upon these "two actors". Now Helen Mirren  can do no wrong, that is accepted.  She is great even if she just sits there and spits.  Russell Brand is new and I just love him.  He is the Steve Martin of 30 years ago.  He is naturally funny and makes me laugh all the time. Thinking about it now though, it was the scenes with only those two actors that were the best. They did not need anybody else. The movie is close to the original which stared Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli.  Seeing Russell Brand on TV lately plugging this movie and seeing him unscripted, I have to wonder if in the movie he is saying the written lines or just did what is natural to him.  No matter, he had me within ten minutes.  I actually did not like the original, thought it inane and not believable.  However, the new Arthur, while still being inane and not believable, had a warmth that I found lovable and soft.  The critics liked the first half but found the second part boring or whatever.  I found it kind and sweet and even though unbelievable, touched me. 

So that is what I think.  I just love a good laugh and although this is not fall on your face, double over in laughter flick, it is a fun movie that will make you smile and forget your troubles for at least the 110 minutes.  Everyone has different tastes, I am almost surprised that I like this, but then it has been a long winter and I need to laugh and escape.

My Retirement - Skunked

"Thinking"  about making more decisions and doing OK

Hair Raising!

Recently I was speaking by phone to a good friend who I have not seen in awhile.  She has been through quite a bit in the past few years but always has a positive, sunny disposition.  She does not let things get her down and is always a delight to be around (I am so poetic).  She told me something that surprised me though and I was not sure how to react.  She let her hair go natural which is (horrors of horrors) grey.  She told me she was tired of dying her hair only to have a white stripe from the roots down the middle of her head a few weeks later.  Bravo to her, what an independent, free thinker she is, but how do you do that?  Do you let the white grow out till you are half and half?  She sent me a picture of her on a cruise and she looked absolutely beautiful.  She was cute, classy and had a stunning Farrah Faucet look going. Grey can be cool!

I remember when my Mom decided to quit the bottle (color, that is) and told us she was going back to her natural shade, which at age 70 was grey/white.  I became despondent and tried to talk her out of doing that as seeing my beloved mother looking her age was a sign to me of her mortality.  Although she had many health problems, she was such a vital, funny lady whose spirit was forever-young.  I kept trying to talk her into a temporary light-brown rinse, but she did not want my advice and was comfortable with her decision. I found that the white hair did not strip her of her joie de vivre and she lived to the ripe old age of 85 and she was beautiful.

So now I'm thinking, maybe it is time for a new look for me.  I have been a redhead since I turned 18, which is a lifetime ago.  There have been many incarnations of this red - dark, medium, light, streaked, faded, bright, dull and now, like my friend expressed, skunked.  Colors that I have used for years are not taking well to my new texture (old hair) and I seem to have a pink glow about me and then three weeks later, the white stripe is visible.  For a few years I went to a hairdresser for coloring but when the bill became $200 (with tip), I could not justify it anymore.  I also don't like sitting around in a salon for hours and then lying to the hairdresser and saying I love it when I can't wait to run out to my car and comb out the "do" they gave me.  I have to admit though that I was usually pleased with the color, so maybe I can find a less expensive salon and bite the bullet and pay a professional.  I'm thinking of going blond or doing highlights as that blends better with the roots. Besides, I am thinking red may not be age appropriate for me anymore.  I can't do the natural look though, because although my friend looked like a glamorous movie star, I would look more like the late Estelle Getty from the Golden Girls.  My mind is not ready for that.

 

My Retirement - All Creatures, Great and Small

Making it through the fake spring and doing OK.


Birding

April Fool's Joke

To start with, I do like birds.  They are usually one of the first signs of spring and I welcome them with open arms.  However, I am not over the top about them like my hubby. I am more into mammal-like creatures and although love to see birds and give them all my leftover bread and crackers, I am not obsessed with them.  Hubby is.  I think it began  as he entered his 50's.  At that time we had been blessed with cats inherited from our children.  The kids had either moved out for a short while or were in college and felt the need to adopt cats and then bring them home to us.  Of course, within the year our children left our home but their pets did not.  We became parents all over again, this time to four-legged ones.  In order to amuse the cats, hubby put a bird feeder in a tree right out the front window.  The two left-in-our-care cats would meow and make strange noises all day long while watching all the birds feed.  We actually had a bird who would see his shadow in our window and make love to his reflection for hours at a time.  The cats were in fantasy heaven.  Hubby made sure he filled up that bird feeder twice a  day in order to amuse his feline buddies. This was the beginning of his obsession.

When all of our children were on their own, we decided to buy a larger house (makes sense, doesn't it) with more land to take care of and cultivate.   We moved to what was a farming community and more open space.  The first thing hubby did was install a few bird feeders.  As the years went by, the number of bird feeders increased. This was helped by our children and grandchildren who thought hubby needed more and more bird feeders to keep him busy.  He loved it and so did most of the Mid-Atlantic states' bird population.  If anybody can remember the movie The Birds, the Alfred Hitchcock thriller, they can imagine my yard, especially in spring.  It is a sea of birds.  I am not complaining as I love to see all the species that come and feed at our 20 or so feeders, but the bill for bird food now exceeds the cat food and dare I say, our wine bill.  Some birds that normally fly south in the winter never leave.  We have beautiful Robins most of the year and Cardinals all of the year.  Our kids also give us bird books (what do you give old people) so we can investigate all the species that feed and crap in our yard.  Again, I am not complaining, except when they destroy my flower planters that I have hanging in the trees. Of course, the trees are for the birds, and I respect their habitat, I just wish they would tilt their tail feathers in the other direction of my hanging gardens. I have now accepted that the majority of these flowers must be white so the bird droppings will blend in.

Weekend mornings and every night hubby fills three large buckets of different types of bird food and goes out to feed the starving birds of America.  I can tell you, he alone may have saved the planet from the extinction of some species. I look out the window and see him trudging around the back yard and woods in snow, rain, heat, and cold carrying what looks like very heavy buckets and I shake my head. Surely, the birds can make it for a day or two without him going out and risking his health in inclement weather.  But no, he is a man on a mission, and he is sure the birds count on him, only him.  He, though, is very particular about what types of birds eat out of each feeder.  Only finches are to eat out of the finch feeder, but doves seem to like that perch also. This is upsetting to him as he thinks the doves should know better.  I won't even mention the havoc that goes on when racoons and sqirrells swing from the newly filled feeders.  Nature has their way though and their rules are different than ours.  

Again, I do love all creatures of this earth (except stink bugs, but that is another blog), cats, dogs, antelope (never saw one, but am sure I would love them), deer and giraffes - all species - and I do look forward to the migration of the birds. When I see all the bright red cardinals flying around my woods, and the finches when they turn yellow, I sigh, and say thank you hubby for bringing such beauty to my little corner of the world. 

My Retirement - Looking for some Gardening Help

Planning my gardens and doing OK

About three years ago my children gifted me with a flagstone patio.  I had wanted one for a while but was not sure how we could do it or if I really needed one as I already have a very nice deck.  One day, when they expected me to be at work but in reality I had taken a vacation day, two of my daughters and son-in-law came over with tools, a truck full of flagstone and all the equipment and supplies that it would take to install a patio. I was so oblivious as to what they were doing that I had not even noticed the truck and Bobcat going down the side of my yard. My first thought was that they were going to install a rain barrel to collect water, something that I had asked for as a birthday gift.  I did not look out my back windows to see what was happening and told them I would leave and go shopping so that they could complete their surprise.   I called hubby and met him for a day of shopping.  When we returned in about 5 or 6 hours, the patio was almost completed.  It was just what I dreamed of, and it gave me another place for a garden.  My first thought was what to plant between the stones.  I went to nurseries, asked advise from friends and family and read catalog after catalog.  I finally decided between Irish moss or step-upon thyme.  I decided on the English garden look with the moss  and, per the instructions, I thought that there would be enough shade there for the plants to grow well.   I also tried some thyme in a few areas to see how that would do.  After putting in thousands upon thousands of seeds and many plants of Irish moss, I know I have made a mistake.  The patio does get about 2 hours of sun a day and last year with the terrible heat, the moss withered and looked like straw.  I had spent many labor hours and quite a bit of money trying to cultivate these plants.  They were watered down every day, but apparently even a couple of hours of sun does them in.   This is my third year of trying to dress up this space and I am asking for advice.  The step-upon thyme did look nice in the crevasses where I planted them, however, they over-grew and I thought they looked somewhat messy and not the appearance I wanted.  However, they did very well and did not turn to straw.  The thought of getting on my knees and pulling out 3 years of work does not thrill me, but I am not happy with what I have done. I also have problems with grass and weeds growing among the moss.  I spend so much time pulling out these invasive pests.  The weeds do not seem to sprout up in the thyme though or at least are not as visible..  Unfortunately, last year, I pulled out all of the thyme and planted them in other gardens. So, it is April and I am ready to start over and tackle this problem once and for all. 

I am located in Zone 6.  Any ideas?

                                                       

My Retirement, Ready, Set, Don't Go

Germ Free and doing OK

Disappointed with Spring

About three weeks ago my friend Barbara and I attended the Philadelphia Flower show which this year was an exhibition of French spring gardens.  The show, which is held annually is the largest in the world and covers over 33 acres.  They kept to the theme and daffodils, tulips and lavender permeated the air. You entered through an Eiffel Tower structure and from there the artistry of France was combined to transport you to April in Paris. 

Those who know me accept me as a flower nut who, at times, goes over the top.  I am always looking for that "different" flower, the one that is new, unusual and not your ordinary plant.  I search catalogs, nursery centers, flower shows, and formal gardens for that "something special".  What I have learned is that sometimes they are not always what they said and photos are not always real-life; what is shown is usually more than the best-case scenario.  They insinuate that plants will grow in your zone and look just like the picture, unfortunately, they don't say your garden needs to be on a south corner in Borneo on a semi-warm day, with a  banana tree to the right, no wind but a light sea breeze and 4.5 worms in the soil to get that result  So I have been misled a few times and been disappointed, but it is always fun growing new plants and seeing the results, good or bad, it is always an experience I am glad I tried. 

After the flower show I was stoked.  Unfortunately, instead of it being April in Paris, it is March in Pennsylvania.  It looked like we might have an early spring as the temperatures had been in the 60's and had even sored to the 70's for a few days.  Of course, we all relied on Punxsutawny Phil, our resident groundhog and the official spokesman for the coming of spring.  He told us on February 2nd that it would be a short winter and we believed him.  After all he, like so many of our politicians, is a rodent and lives below the earth, he would know and would not lie to us. We noticed the daffodils and crocus sprouting out of the ground and saw that as a sign that Phil was right on the money.  Then, then, then, ..... cold, hail, snow, and nothing. Spring stood still.  My beautiful Weeping Willow whose buds were visible and whose yellow hue was turning to light green looks the same as it did two weeks ago.  Some bulbs have bloomed and I see colors of purple and pink in some neighbor's yards, but so far, nothing in mine.  What happened?  After thinking about it, I realized that this month in Pennsylvania is barely spring.  The early warmth, so unlike normal March temperatures, duped us.  We all wanted to be deceived though, we had that taste of spring in February and why should we not expect shorts and tee shirt weather in March.  What is true though is that April is right around the corner and with that will come better garden weather and more outdoor time.  Mother Nature knows when she is ready, I just have to have some patience.



Waiting, waiting, waiting.



So, I will plant pansies; they can survive happily in the cold.  They are one of my favorite flowers and adapt well to not-so- favorable circumstances.  I need to learn that lesson.

My Retirement - Down and Out

Bad week, but I'm doing OK.

Yuck!

There is nothing so wonderful as feeling good after feeling bad - really bad.  Something hit me on Sunday evening and had me to my knees screaming for my mother to please help me.  I can be overly dramatic!  At 8 pm that night I was fine and eating a helping of store-bought potato salad, by 10 pm I thought I was in the bowls of hell. I was convinced it was the salad and I had food poisoning.  The next three days had me moaning, looking like I felt, and wishing tomorrow would come quickly.  Hubby brought back the salad to the store and they are doing tests on it and will let us know the results.  However, now my granddaughter Emma has come down with the same symptoms, so maybe it is just a nasty bug that has invaded our systems.

Now I am feeling better and life is so much brighter.  I woke up this morning feeling like me and jumped out of bed (an exaggeration).  I saw the sun and thought "what a wonderful day", and just assumed it must be warm out, even though we got hit in the backside yesterday was some light snow.  Unfortunately, it is only in the low 40's, so there is no reason to put on a sundress yet.  Then came the highlight of my day.  I got on the scale and I was down six pounds.  That is 3 weeks of a diet that I planned to get on   Four days of  lo-cal ginger ale and saltine crackers paid off, although it was a very distasteful experience.  So, now I have a kick-start, my appetite for the sweet things in life has not come back yet, and maybe it is time for me to begin one of my manana goals.  Because of my walking everyday (always followed by a reward), I have not gained any weight during these past retirement months (even lost a size), but I want to keep my health and energy level and losing ten pounds will help.  Twenty pounds would be better, but that won't happen, so better to be realistic and proud.  Besides, the weight would come off my face, my jowls would hang even lower, the creases would be deeper and my eyelids may cascade over the top of my cheeks.  Even as we age, we ladies still have our pride.

My Retirement -An Accounting

Spring has arrived and I'm doing OK

Getting my move and groove on.

I have been retired for almost 4 months now and am taking inventory on what I have accomplished.  I had this mental list of cleaning out the basement, the closets, the cupboards, painting, volunteering, putting my affairs in order and having an organized life;  you know, the fun stuff.  I was beginning to feel a failure as little of that had been accomplished.  I did go through some closets and put together four or five bags of clothes that I would never wear again and had hubby take them to Goodwill.  I started working on the basement and assembled some groups of good stuff I did not want anymore and bad or old stuff that no one would ever want.   I then pointed hubby to it and asked him if he would dispose of them when he had time.  He has done most of his part, and only about 1/4 of it  remains. Of course this is just the tip of the iceberg of the basement, but it is a start.   As for all the other things on my list, they still remain as goals.

I was speaking to my friend Kathy last night and we were talking about my post on the perks of being over 60.  When we spoke about the things we needed to do, the word and song Manana came up and we both remembered this from our youth.  While we congratulated each other for "remembering" something that old (no problem with that, it's 5 minutes ago that I am having trouble with), we laughed at it's meaning.  I have fond memories of my mother singing it often, "The window she is broken and the rain is coming in, if someone doesn't fix it, I'll be soaking to my skin.  But if we wait a day or two, the rain may go away and we don't need a window on such a sunny day, Manana, manana, manana is soon enough for me."  It is a happy tune, and might I add, words to live by. 

I have accomplished some things though but most important,  I have learned how to breathe - an all important factor of life they say.  Through my walking every day (formerly jogging - my lofty ideas have had to come down a notch due to injuries and age) has built up my stamina and my energy level  is so much better (once I get myself going).  Last year at this time a walk around the block would tire me out and I would be panting; now I can easily do six miles and feel fine.  I have also become somewhat adjusted to the solitude I find myself in now.  My life had been about social contact with people as I had worked a great deal of my life and raised a large family.  For the first few months I mourned that loss and it was very difficult.  Now I am getting out more and am pushing myself to start a brand new life.  I know that with spring and more sunlight to inspire me, I will start to bloom.  I have also learned to appreciate my "alone time" and I am looking at it as a gift to enjoy.

So, four months in and my scorecard is really not too bad.  I have written this blog that I have enjoyed (it is my journal), and I have met some new and interesting friends through it.  This transition has been healthy for me.  I still aspire to accomplish many of my goals and do more planning (and follow-through) on my future, as after all, manana is the future.

My Retirement - So, you're over 60

Warm and Wonderful here and I am doing OK

Perks

- Knowing your life is better than Charlie Sheen's.
- You never have to worry about getting acne anymore.
- Your grandchildren like being around you more than they do their parents.
   The junkfood you gave them and the money you slipped into their hands has
   paid off.
- There is time to smell the roses and appreciate the smaller (and better)
   things in life.
- You no longer have to be a slave to fashion; it is more about comfort.  Oh,
   the joys of elastic!.
- Things you once deemed important, are not.
- You are no longer a fussy eater and most things taste good
   (maybe not brussel sprouts).
-  Generic Drugs
- There is more time to garden.
- You know what love really is and recognize it is not always easy and that is OK. 
- Some things are just so much funnier.
- Acceptance, and peace with it.

My Retirement - In an Instant

The week of spring, I am doing OK

Life changes so quickly!

I have been trying to write something for days but what has been happening in other parts of the world leaves me numb.  It does not feel right to me to chatter on with my silly little ramblings.

No one can look upon the pictures we are seeing of the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster and not feel deep emotion for these people and their beautiful country. One moment they were going about their business and in the next second came disaster of  immense proportions. The news keeps getting more ominous and horrific but in the midst of it comes miracles of people finding loved ones and the outpouring of  kindness shown by others.  We want this terrible thing to stop and go away and for them and us to go about our normal lives, but it has changed for them and for us all. We are all neighbors in this world.

Most of us have had to face an instant turn of events in our lives.  It leads us down other roads, roads we might not have chosen before, however, is it the road we were destined to follow.  Japan has not only suffered though events of nature, but also the technology of man.  Maybe we can learn from this, but maybe not. 

In these times of human suffering, we want to open our hearts to help in any way we can, whether it be through prayers or actions.  When I think of kindness and goodness, I think of the Dalai Lama and his words of great wisdom.  Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama said, "This is my simple religion.  There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy.  Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." For these people of Japan, many of whom are Buddhist and live by this doctrine, the world will be there for them, our hearts overflow.

My Retirement- Where'd it go

Wiff  of spring and doing OK.

My mind and what happened to it.

Looking back at it, I first started feeling signs of senility creep in when I gave birth.  Those four little beings sucked the brain waves right out of me.  It was subtle at first but when they became teenagers, it accelerated.  I knew I was a-gonner when the first one reached 12 and their one eyebrow lifted every time I spoke.  To them, having to put up with a parent was such a chore.  Poor souls, they had to deal with me, like it or not.  My oldest child was 11 when the youngest was born so it was a long haul getting through them all.  Mind you, they were good kids, all of whom I am very proud, but raising children is not an easy task. Sometimes I look back at it and am amazed at how much patience I had (at least in my memories), and wonder how I was capable of doing it all.  I now have the joy of grandchildren and yes, they are so much easier and have no faults. All those years though of bouncing so many balls in the air, including family, jobs attending college, and  trying to get everything done and be perfect at it (again in my eyes)  took a toll.  I think I lost about 25% of my brain cells during that part of my life.  So at around age 50 when two were out of college and on their own and I was rounding the bend with the other two, I took a breath and tried to regroup (my midlife crisis). I can tell you there is no regrouping in motherhood, it is a lifelong journey where guilt and fear for their safety never ends.  They did not ask for this, I just took it upon myself to be a forever worry-wort when it comes to my brood. Take another 10% off of my brain cells for this.  If you are counting, you will see I am only 65% "with it".

I have come to the point of my life where I spend quite a bit of my time looking for things that I know I just saw or had.   Some thoughts and words just pop like bubbles from my mind.  Where did they go; I know they are still there as the memory comes back to me some time later, but they are not there when I want them to be.  My friends and I compare notes and laugh about our senior moments.  It is a sisterhood of the brain cell deprived.  I wish there was something that we could do or eat to rejuvenate our minds, but so far there is only laughter and that gives us comfort. 

The other day I was sitting in my office which is a front room of my home.  I was looking out the window and suddenly a thought came upon me that I wanted to share with hubby and my daughter who was visiting. I got up, walked 2 rooms away into the family room  and announced to them " I am so glad that...., oh gosh, thought gone.  They stared at me while my mouth hung open with no more words coming.  Something popped again. The positive part is that I was glad about something, and that is a good thing.  I did remember the next day and it had to do with my front garden, but it did not redeem me in hubby's or daughter's eyes.  However, I was relieved it popped back in and what the heck, it was not important anyway.  That's my version and I am sticking with it. 

Small thoughts matter not!

My Retirement - Grumpy Old People

Looking forward to spring and doing OK

Woe is me.

We have a section in our paper called "Sound Off" which allows people to call in, air their complaints or even say something nice without giving their names. As you might guess, the former is more likely to happen.  To my great embarrassment, most of these people are seniors.  I know this because they either sign off as "A Senior Citizen", or have it somewhere in their rant.  They complain about their neighbors, their neighbors dogs and cats, politicians, public officials, teachers, other people's religion, illegal aliens, pot holes, people's driving, laws, no laws, the country is going to hell in a hand basket, and anything negative one could imagine.  We all have opinions and strong beliefs, but expressing your thoughts in a column where you don't have to take ownership of them seems cowardly to me.  With all this said, I have to admit that it is the first thing I read even though it is on page 2.  I compare it to watching a car wreck; you know what you are going to see will not be pleasant, but you look anyway.  Some people have legitimate griefs but they are not going to do anything about it except whine, whine, whine. One of the continuing subjects has to do with people not putting on their car lights when it is raining, a relatively new law.  A few of these S/Cs actually gave a count of the cars passing by their house that were disobeying this law. Imagine spending your limited time on this earth looking out your windows, watching your neighbors driving habits and accusing them of being terrorists of the roads.  Some of these sound-offs are fear-based and I understand as I have some of these concerns myself, but I can do nothing about yesterday, tomorrow is always a day away and what little I can control about my life (which includes my mood) is up to me. These people sometimes sign off with names like "Jeez Louise',  "Sick of it all",  and of course, "Disgusted Senior Citizen",  and I wonder if they ever have a good day.   I am not discouraging activism, as I am all for that, but being petty is so unattractive.

I wonder what happened to these people to make them so negative and mean-spirited.  Bad moods are something we all suffer, but when we let that and fear take over our lives, we miss so much.  This week I am going to go to the Philadelphia Flower Show which is celebrating French gardens.  Aah, there is nothing so lovely as a garden, it is so full of promise and joy.  Maybe I will call into Sound-Off and tell them what a fun day I am having; I am sure some grumpy old people will call in and say "Why aren't they celebrating an American garden."

Take the time to laugh today, it is good for the soul.

My Retirement - Reasons to Drink Wine

Winter is gone (I hope) and I'm doing OK

An appreciation of Vino

1)   It is celebratory.
2)  The glasses are elegant.
3)  Goes well with cheese and chocolate, the foods of life.
4)  Good for your heart.
5)  Calms your nerves.
6)  Promotes better brain health, although not necesarily in the hours after you
     have consumed a bottle by yourself.
7)  It denotes a certain sophistication and when you use words like woody, bold,
     complex, smokey, and  full  bodied, people will look at you and pay
      attention. You will "think" they are impressed.
8)  Sometimes a moderate price wine tastes just as good as the more costly one.
9)  It can become a religious experience.
10) Helps you love everyone.

James Thurber cartoon: Three people at a dinner table look quizzically at their host, who has a glass in his hand and a manic look in his eye, saying, "It's merely a naive domestic Burgundy, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.

I say, it is nice to sit down with your family and friends, look around the table and smile, have a good meal and enjoy a moderately-priced, fine wine together. 

Cheers!

My Retirement - Ain't Necessarily So

Third month and I'm doing OK

Snakeoil

As much information that we have now at our fingertips, how much of it is real?   P/R execs, commentators with their innuendos, overblown advertising, and even lighting and airbrushing have taken (a small) part of the truth and made us believe that what we are hearing and seeing is absolute. Everything is targeted at specific audiences and then expounded upon thru the media.  The truth is no longer black or white, but multicolored with many layers. 

Years ago TV advertising mostly consisted of soap products, cars, kitchen appliances and over-the-counter drugs like Alka Seltzer.  We all used soap, homeowners like shiny new appliances, cars were everyone's dream and we all had gas once in a while.  Now, cars are still a big draw, soap products are not promoted as much, the amount of refrigerators advertised has gone way down, but the corporations can still count on us all having gas.  The products marketed  have changed so much in the past ten years, especially with all the new technology offered and the speed of which they have evolved.  High tech is marketed to the very young and the very hip.  That leaves me and the millions upon millions of other boomers out.  The only thing hip about us are our titanium ones.  This brings me to what seems as the #1 product advertised, prescription drugs.  Half of the diseases I have never heard of but after seeing them over and over, I am not quite sure I don't have them.  TV ads can be very convincing.  A few years ago they were airing a commercial about having shaky legs and it seemed ominous.  It was called RLS.  It became a topic of conversation in the workplace and among my friends.  At least half of us were sure we had this frightening ailment.  Doctor's offices must have been flooded with patients inquiring about this syndrome.  I always shake my legs, but I thought it was because I am annoyed at something or anxious (my middle name). My mother always did this also and my siblings and I knew that when her leg started moving, we should all run for the hills. Now we are told it is RLS, the disease du jour in 2008. I looked it up and although it is somewhat real, it is uncommon and usually associated with severe kidney disease.  It is rarely listed as a diagnosis. It is not so much an ailment as it is a symptom.  How could this be when a drug company was spending millions to advertise their medicine and scaring thousands of gullible people.   Maybe this drug helped some but I am sure the ads caused more heart palpitations when people noticed that they were swinging their legs around and became convinced that it was a sign of impending death.  I have not noticed this ad in a few years, so maybe it didn't sell.  I am sure though that in some board room there are a bunch of executives going through the alphabet thinking up a new acronym for a new disorder to sell to us boomers.

BTW, we no longer have gas, it is SAR or acid reflux - so much more acceptable.

My Retirement - Sins of the Mother

End of February and doing OK

How I ruined my daughter's life!

As I reflect on my life, I feel quite proud of how I raised my children and how well they turned out.  They are all good people and I am so proud of them.  I give myself a pat on the back for a job well done.  Three of my children live within 45 minutes of me and I am blessed to have them so close.  My #2 child though was an adventurer and after finishing an internship in Colorado, headed out to see the country.  Her old car broke down in Santa Cruz, Ca and that is where she has stayed these past 17 years. She has gotten a new car, a great job,  a wonderful family and life and we all agree that she has found her shangri-la.  It hurt so  much when she left us but you raise children to let them fly, have their own dreams and fulfill their destiny.  It is the way it should be.  It took me awhile to adjust to her move, but with the Internet, you are never more than a few clicks away. 

I named her Heather Elise, a name I had read in a book when I was about 12.  I had never heard this name before and it sounded so lovely and peaceful and I was determined that would be what I would call my first daughter.  Apparently everybody else had read this book and the year that my daughter was born, that was one of the names most commonly given to girls - or at least so it seems.  You don't hear it much anymore as Madison and Emma and Emily have taken over, but in the early 70's Jennifer and Heather were the names of choice. I am still glad I called her that, as it fits her well.  She is my wildflower that will grow and thrive in both the loveliest and more difficult of circumstances.

 

With all this said, #2 child told me recently what a horrible thing I did to her when she was young.  I listened in amazement as she related to me how I had sent her to school in the 1st or 2nd grade in a Dolly Parton costume made by me and she is still trying to get past the trauma that I put her through.  I actually thought I had been quite clever, but seemingly this was not the case.  Let me explain. Back in the late 70's Dolly Parton was extremely popular, she was the Lady Gaga of today.  I never liked those cheap-looking Collegeville costumes that were available in those times so I made all my children's Halloween regalia.  I spent months thinking of themes that would be clever and would win them a  prize in the all important parade, one of  the highlights of the year in our small town. Top prize was a big $5.00, well worth the anxiety.   I made Star Wars creatures (with lights attached), Colonel Sanders, chicken legs, Gumby,  and even an Adams Family group.  They always won something and one year captured 1st prize.  People looked to me for ideas as I was Halloween Mom. When I think about it now, was it about me, not them. Was I like those crazy people in Toddlers and Tiaras?   For #2 child, who never mentioned this to me until almost 30 years later, the grapefruits that I put in her Dolly Parton outfit were over the top.  Who would have thunk? Then there was the episode where she was pelted with candies as she walked down the parade route wearing balloons for the Fruit of the Loom grapes outfit.   To add to this, a few years after these disasters, I also talked her into having me give her a hair permanent which turned out to be a very frizzy Afro in a year she was attending a new school.  I knew about that right away as she cried for days and my heart hurt for her. This Dolly Paton episode though was news to me.though.   So I say #2 child, it is the the tough times that make you stronger and give you character.  It has enabled you to have your wonderful sense of humor and you are fearless.  I didn't do it on purpose, I thought they were all good things, and you really looked amazing as Dolly.  Wish I could find those pictures.

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My Retirement - Forest Gump

The snow is melting and I'm doing OK.

Life is like a box of chocolates and it is all about what you choose.

I love chocolates and they don't have to be a premium brand; M & Ms will do just fine.  They are easy to pick up, you always take more than one at a time and they can be put in the mouth as a group and are consumed quickly. There is little evidence that you ever indulged.  Nobody will know you broke your diet (except if you kept them in your hands too long and the tell-tale colors are on your fingers). My philosophy is that if nobody saw you eat them, there were no calories consumed. 

Most gift boxes of chocolates contain at least one or two candies wrapped up in a foil.  They look so special and your eyes go to them first.  It is a mystery candy which makes it desirable.  I have found that more times than not when I bite into one of these, it is the plainest chocolate in the box; it is just gussied up to get your attention but has no substance.  Then there are the creams - some vanilla, some fruit flavored and some chocolate.  Good, but kind of what you would expect; it is usually a safe choice but somewhat boring.  Caramels are chewy and take a while to consume.  These you will remember for at least a few minutes after eating them as they tend to stick to your teeth.  You like that they stay around, but they can give you cavities. Cherries are sweet and there is usually only one in a box, so you are lucky if you get first pick.

Now to my favorite, nuts.  I do like those chocolate covered peanuts. There is nothing complicated about them, you know what you are getting all the time and it is a great combination.  Another are Hazelnuts, they stand out with their size and it is hard to resist, but when you bite into them you take the chance of breaking a molar. My first choice though is the chocolate with the tiny pieces of nuts.  The texture is just right, you get to chew without the fear of breaking a tooth and you get an equal amount of both composition and flavor. Perfect! They do tend to get stuck in between your teeth and gums but all the better as you get to indulge in them for awhile.

Then, of course, in every life there are some jelly chocolates.  It is about disappointment and how you deal with it.  You can dwell on it or you can use it to learn and move on. I'd like to think that I have gained the most from the jellies. They have made me stronger, smarter and more resilient.  All in all though, I would rather have more M&M days with a Twix bar thrown in.





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My Retirement - One More MonthTill Spring

8 Week of Retirement and doing OK.

Looking forward!

Last week was a reprieve from winter.  There was no snow, no ice, no temperatures below freezing, and no weather anxiety.  Body shop dealers could take a week off.  The local TV news shows had to find something else to frighten us.  Of course, they had to tell us not to enjoy what we had because there was something on the horizon that would bring our happiness to a crashing end.  However, while we had sun and temperatures hitting the 70 degree mark in February, I basked in its glory.

Although it has been cold, we have not had to endure a winter like we did last year.  While our average snowfall is 36", 2010 brought us 86.6" with 62.8" falling in February (2 storms), so anything is better than that.  We have had snow but only 3" to 8" at a time and it really mattered what town you lived in.  There could be a difference of 6" between a few miles.  Most of the time this year, my area has been on the low end and as Martha Stewart would say, that is a good thing. Then last week we had that wonderful "spring in winter" interlude.  It was so beautiful, I took my Mayo Clinic, 5K run, 7-week training course for beginners outside.  The first day you walk-run (45 seconds for walking, and 15 seconds for jogging) for 30 minutes and I came back alive, a definite positive.  I did OK but found that running on pavement is a little different than running on cherry wood floors.  I kept up my training all week and came to the conclusion that I might have to alter my goals.  As the days went on I also found that it was harder on my lungs and maybe my heart.  I am not totally crazy, so I thought it over and decided that I might have to just walk.  I will continue with my plan and find some kind of race to enter in the spring, only I will be going slower.  My family might have to wait a little longer for me at the end but I will finish.

While I did my training outside last week I passed so many of my neighbors smiling.  Good weather seems to bring out the best in us all.  People greeted me, commented on the beautiful day and then all said something to the effect that this would not last.  Bummer!  We all know that is probably true as it still is February, but we only have the moment, we should embrace it and not think of the negative.  Spring is coming, it is less than a month away.  I am thinking in those terms now and am already planning on what seeds and flowers that I will plant this year.  This is great fun for me and as I listened to all the weather people say to get ready for another one-two punch (their phrase of the year), I think what flowers I will order today.

Speaking of negativity, while we were enjoying a salad last night with my daughter, hubby mentions that he has printed out an Internet article that tells you how much pesticide is on vegetables and fruit.  He promptly got the print-out and before we had finished our "healthy" meal, we were informed that everything we had consumed was loaded with organisms and poison.  Bon appetit`. He is a good guy with such a big heart, but he can't help himself, he thrives on calamities, for him, it is about survival.  I guess it is part of the caveman thing .

Find a good story and laughter in all things; it will comfort you.

My Retirement, A Day of Memories

Moving on with my life and doing ok.

Relatives can be chancy, Friends you choose, Old Friends you cherish.

I can't be funny today, my heart hurts with thoughts of the loss a year ago of a friend.  Time has gone by but  there is not a day that I don't think of her.  Pat has left me and all those who loved her with wonderful memories of her wit, her great smile, her joy of planning and the funniest stories ever told. 

We were a group of 5 women who had known each other for over 35 years.  We raised our children together, were there for each other when our children married and when our parents died. We went on vacations together and met each other monthly for a Ladies Night Out.  Once or twice a year we invited our hubbies and that was fun also, but the friendship of women is something special.  We talked about everything and when one of us was having problems, we were all there to console and somehow at the end of the day or evening, we would all be laughing.  We were five very different people, me being the most intense, yet they put up with me and loved me anyway.  Pat was non-judgemental, seldom got into any deep political/religious conversations, loved to talk about her family (always a funny story), and enjoyed living in her hometown and knowing almost everyone. This was not to say she wasn't spirited; she was adventurous, she was a planner, she was our leader!  We depended upon her to find fun things for us to do and she never let us down.  The times when I laughed the most was when I was with my friends on an outing orchestrated by Pat. I miss that so much.

Life goes on but it is changed.  It has been deminished because we no longer have Pat to talk to, to laugh with and to have as a friend.  Our monthly Ladies Night Out has become semi-annual, when one of us pushes to have one.  Yes, time does heal somewhat and now the holes in our hearts have been filled with the memories of all the good times, fun and laughter that we shared together. The Fab Five, as we called ourselves, will go on as our friendships have no ending. It will always be Pat, Barbara, Kathy, Herta and Arleen. My life has been blessed.

My Retirement - Moving on

End of my 6th Week of Retirement and doing OK.

Chariots of Fire

I am motivated by inspirational people, movies, music and quotes. I am so sentimental that I cry when I see the flag raised.  If I read something in a newspaper or book that tugs at my heart, I cut it out and paste it somewhere.  I read them over and over.  Music is part of my heart and I will play the same songs for months or possibly years, until they begin to get on my nerves, (ex: I Hope You Dance). However  I am not very nostalgic for old times or old music, I think of tradition as somebody else's idea or something to be improved upon.  I try to live in today and now, and for the moment.

No matter my doubts and fears, I  believe in myself.  I always thought that even if things pile up on me, that somehow I would get them all done.  Don't misunderstand me, I have always had family and friends to get me through the tough times and I have no trouble asking for help.  It is difficult for me now to accept that I can no longer do some of the physical or mental  things I once thought easy, but as long as I am vertical, I will try my best.

If you had read my prior blogs you will remember me saying that I have started jogging, something I never would have considered even a few years ago.  I am not an athlete and sports and me have never mixed.  In my younger years hubby encouraged me to play tennis, even buying me a pair of Tom McCann bobos and a tennis racket.  When I took the lessons I hit very few balls, as a matter of fact, I ducked when I saw them coming at me.  I compare going to those sessions as being in a dentist chair having all my teeth extracted.  It was not fun.  I have quit very few things in my life, but after lesson 3, I was out of there. Tennis was not the only sport that would put me in a state of extreme panic. I used to cringe at the words "anyone for volleyball" or "where's the Frisbee".  It still sends shivers up my spine and I am grateful for old age and my friends infirmities (from these sports) that I no longer have to hear those words.  However, now that I am sort of running, I am enjoying myself. There is no euphoria that I have heard others have after a run, but seeing what I can do gives me such satisfaction.  Unfortunately, two weeks ago, I hurt myself and could no longer run. . My ankles and heels hurt so bad that when I walked, I looked like a penguin.  I gave it a rest for a week and once I felt better, I tried again.

I am being sensible this time, I decided to wear sneakers (after advise from absolutely everybody) and instead of doing it all at one time, I broke it up into 4 sessions per day, doing 4000 to 5000 steps each time.  Because I like to be inspired, I found "music to run with" on the net.  Now if you are passing by my house, you may hear "Chariots of Fire being played over and over again all morning and afternoon.  It changes my mood and I find myself swaying my shoulders and moving my arms like they do in the video.  I don't wear white pants and shirts like the actors, as it is a fashion faux pas to wear white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day.  I now also have a partner, my 16 year old rickety cat.  Martian is a smart old guy that has been my constant companion since I retired. I just have to pat my leg and say come-on Martian, and there he is right behind me.  He can't run like before but he can walk fast, not dissimilar to his owner.  He must have done at least 10 laps with me, sometimes taking shortcuts under tables.  The rest of the time he would sit on chairs or couches that I would pass and give me a high five with his eyes.  OK, now I figure you are all raising your eyebrows at me, old lady running around the house with her old cat to the sounds of Chariots of Fire thinking the cat is giving her a high five.  You all probably think that I am one step from senility.  I can see your point!  However, I have a plan.  Next week, when hopefully the snow melts and the temperature rises to its projected 60 degrees, I am taking my running outside.  I will have to buy an IPod, or one of those "I" things so I can hear my music, but I intend to build myself up so that by the time my birthday comes in June and another nasty number defines me, I can enter some small race, hopefully with my grandchildren, and finish without the EMT on the medical van that follows the runners putting me on a stretcher.  I know I can do it; yesterday I finished 8.5 miles.  I am woman, hear me roar.

My Retirement, Six Weeks Already

 Moving on and doing OK

So I was thinking......

1.  It is good to think, as who knows how long that will last.
2. In my dreams I am young; my subconscious  has not caught up with reality.  For those seven hours I am wearing size 6.
3.  Being in a bad mood and feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of time. 
4.  However, people who are always perky can get on your nerves - especially when you are in a bad mood. 
5. Junk food really does taste better than healthy food - even though we would never admit this to anyone
6. The oldest child in the family does have it the hardest. Glad I was a middle one.
7. The happiest people in the country live in the coldest states. What about shoveling snow and wearing hideous hats 9 months a year makes them happy?
8.  Why do people watch the reality show Hoarders?
9.  The worst feeling to have is lonliness
10. The best times are those when you are surrounded by family and friends.

My Retirement, Second Month +

February, the cruelest month and doing OK

One of my Friends is a Winery - another blog on Technology.

The word "friends" has a new meaning in our times.  Friends now include people we only really know in cyber-life, those we once vaguely knew and now with whom we share all the mundane parts of our lives.    Last year I joined Facebook.  Oh, how happy my children were!  I am sure they gave some thought about accepting "Mom" as a friend.   

I notice that all the younger people have hundreds of friends. It seems like a popularity contest.  Sadly, on the web I only have 30 (but more in real life) and one is Peju Winery in California.  However, having a winery on my Facebook wall is a quite nice.  It adds a certain perception of joie de vivre to my image.  I do have an association with this site as I visited it in Napa a few years ago with my daughter and her family.  It is a beautiful place and they do have fine, fine, very fine wine.  I have recommended them to people who are visiting Napa and they all were quite impressed; they have even joined their wine club. My son is one of these people and has kindly given us some bottles but hubby has been saving them for a "special occasion". I do not know what that occasion will be, but at our age I hope it comes soon.

I just began  texting and can see how that can become addictive. I just love to hear that little ding-a-ling when I get a text.  I feel a real part of this new age!  I'm cool, I'm hip, and it is all so sweet.  (Yes, as you can see, I am not quite up to the latest urban slang, but I did not say "groovy").  Until a few months ago I though of texting as another form of communication that further detached us from others. Now, however, I look for reasons to text people.   It is also a new language and spelling correctly is not necessary.  I am beginning to learn "this talk" and have been thinking of new abbreviations to add.  Instead of LOL, we mature people could write PMP  (figure it out) when explaining our excitement when hearing something funny.  I am behind in this text talk though, so most of what I can come up with probably has been used for years.  However, finding new acronyms can be a new goal of mine.

Facebook, Twitter, Texting, My Space (once the rage, but hear little of it now), are what makes the world go round.  Egypt's new revolution was spread by the use of Twitter and everything came about so quickly that it surprised most nations' leaders.  It is amazing and frightening at the same time.  Today is about instantaneous information, however important or correct it may be.  It has become difficult for many of us to keep up as communication/technology is changing at breakneck speed. I am suffering from whiplash at times and feel old and passe. I still am amazed though at what has come about in my lifetime and look forward to the future and more remarkable achievements. It's a rollar coaster and I want to be on the ride, even if it is only through the first loop.

My Retirement, Month 2

Starting the 2nd month of Retirement and doing OK.

Never buy pants without sitting down in them first.

Last week, on a very cold day (but without snow), I embarked on a shopping trip to an outside mall.  I needed to get some gifts for my granddaughter who was turning 10.  If you have been reading this blog, you will agree that I need to get out of the house - really bad!.  I was on a mission and passed by all the women's stores with their 50% off sale signs because I was there for one purpose only - for my sweet Emma.  However, a 70% off sign caught my eye, stopped me in my tracks and lured  me inside.  I had no intention of buying anything but "just look".  I am always attracted to black pants and have at least 10 of these hanging in my closets, but there is always room for one more.  I grabbed a few and off to the dressing room I went. Now this store is not exactly a BCBG or PacSun where hips can be no more than 32", but it was not a Lane Bryant either; it was a middle-age to mature woman's boutique.   The slacks easily went on, I did not have to lay on the floor and zip them up so things were going well.   They looked OK in the front and felt comfortable, but then I turned around.   The seat seemed to start at the back of my knees.  My body parts have dropped, but I did not think that far down.  The legs were so wide, that I could picture myself getting caught in them and falling down the stairs.  The small blurb in the paper would say, "elderly woman trips on her pants and taken to trauma center".  Sadly, I think I would probably be more traumatized by the word elderly attached to my name than breaking a few bones   Thinking this was just a particular style, I tried on another pair but the result was the same; I looked like a homeless person.  Out the store I ran and told the saleswoman that nothing fit.   I felt depressed and  decided not to ever go into that store again.  I went to the Tween store Justice and bought my Emma some "skinny jeans" and some shirts. Skinny jeans and spandex, words that I have outgrown in more ways than one.   On my way out of the mall I passed  Jones New York and decided to try again in the hopes that my future wardrobe would not include pants that look like potato sacks.   I was  checking  through the racks when the sales lady came up to me and said, "Ma'am, you are in the wrong department, the smaller sizes are in the front."  I could not have been more excited if I had been told that I had won the lottery, my whole mood changed instantly. Life was looking up!  I thanked the woman profusely and proceeded to shop my heart out.  Unfortunately, everything in there was made for a 5'8" woman (I'm 5'4 and shrinking by the moment), even the scarfs had to be wrapped around me a few times.  Now I am questioning about what she meant by small.  As I said, I was not out to shop for myself, but my pride was now on the line.  Onto my third store and one that always has jewelry that I like.  If nothing else fit, a necklace would. I found some black pants that said "tapered  and thought "that might work".  Into the dressing room I went with 3 pairs in hand. One looked just like the jeans that I had on so I eliminated that.  The other two seemed a little big, but put my tush back in an area that looked like the top of my legs. The sales lady knocked on my door and asked if she could help me.  I remembered what the lady in the 2nd store told me about my size and boldly asked for a 10.  A 10, it has such a nice sound, it is not a 6 like all first ladies wear (or say they wear), but it is not a 12, my size for the past few years.  I tried them on and I felt svelte and tall.  No hanging butt, no yards of material threatening my life, no turning pants up 4 inches on the bottom, I was thrilled.  They were not on sale, but who cares, they were a smaller size.  The jogging around the house was paying off!  The day had turned around, I had bought my granddaughter some gifts and I was walking out with two new pairs of black pants that would make me feel like a new woman. 

Then I went home and put one of them on to show hubby.  He did not notice, but then again, I always wear black or brown pants in the winter so I'll give him that.  However, I wanted him to compliment my new tall, thin appearance with no hang ass.  Alas, there was no reaction.  I went into the kitchen and sat down dejected.  All of a sudden a pain came over me; it was like a Slurpee headache in my stomach. I thought my eyeballs would pop out.  The pants had some kind of elastic that seemed not to expand when the body is put in a seating position.  They were pressing into every organ in my body.  I remembered that I was so happy about how I looked standing up in these sleek pants, I never thought of sitting down in them.  I am sure there is some defect in them.  I took them off, put on my full bodied sweats and had some M&Ms.  My new purchase is now hanging in the back of my closet waiting for the day that I will fit in them without pain or when I will go someplace where I will only be standing. 

I will tell you that the other pants I bought fit well and they do not inflict any suffering upon me.  I put them on before we went out on Saturday night and then hubby, instead of saying how good the slacks looked,  asked me when I was going to change into my clothes.  He did not notice how tall or thin I looked, he just thought I was still wearing my pajamas.   So much for style.

To the chagrin of my children, I am thinking of buying the new thing - the Pajama Jeans. If  these embarass them too much,  I can wear my Snuggie over them.