My Retirement, Ready, Set, Don't Go

Germ Free and doing OK

Disappointed with Spring

About three weeks ago my friend Barbara and I attended the Philadelphia Flower show which this year was an exhibition of French spring gardens.  The show, which is held annually is the largest in the world and covers over 33 acres.  They kept to the theme and daffodils, tulips and lavender permeated the air. You entered through an Eiffel Tower structure and from there the artistry of France was combined to transport you to April in Paris. 

Those who know me accept me as a flower nut who, at times, goes over the top.  I am always looking for that "different" flower, the one that is new, unusual and not your ordinary plant.  I search catalogs, nursery centers, flower shows, and formal gardens for that "something special".  What I have learned is that sometimes they are not always what they said and photos are not always real-life; what is shown is usually more than the best-case scenario.  They insinuate that plants will grow in your zone and look just like the picture, unfortunately, they don't say your garden needs to be on a south corner in Borneo on a semi-warm day, with a  banana tree to the right, no wind but a light sea breeze and 4.5 worms in the soil to get that result  So I have been misled a few times and been disappointed, but it is always fun growing new plants and seeing the results, good or bad, it is always an experience I am glad I tried. 

After the flower show I was stoked.  Unfortunately, instead of it being April in Paris, it is March in Pennsylvania.  It looked like we might have an early spring as the temperatures had been in the 60's and had even sored to the 70's for a few days.  Of course, we all relied on Punxsutawny Phil, our resident groundhog and the official spokesman for the coming of spring.  He told us on February 2nd that it would be a short winter and we believed him.  After all he, like so many of our politicians, is a rodent and lives below the earth, he would know and would not lie to us. We noticed the daffodils and crocus sprouting out of the ground and saw that as a sign that Phil was right on the money.  Then, then, then, ..... cold, hail, snow, and nothing. Spring stood still.  My beautiful Weeping Willow whose buds were visible and whose yellow hue was turning to light green looks the same as it did two weeks ago.  Some bulbs have bloomed and I see colors of purple and pink in some neighbor's yards, but so far, nothing in mine.  What happened?  After thinking about it, I realized that this month in Pennsylvania is barely spring.  The early warmth, so unlike normal March temperatures, duped us.  We all wanted to be deceived though, we had that taste of spring in February and why should we not expect shorts and tee shirt weather in March.  What is true though is that April is right around the corner and with that will come better garden weather and more outdoor time.  Mother Nature knows when she is ready, I just have to have some patience.



Waiting, waiting, waiting.



So, I will plant pansies; they can survive happily in the cold.  They are one of my favorite flowers and adapt well to not-so- favorable circumstances.  I need to learn that lesson.

My Retirement - Down and Out

Bad week, but I'm doing OK.

Yuck!

There is nothing so wonderful as feeling good after feeling bad - really bad.  Something hit me on Sunday evening and had me to my knees screaming for my mother to please help me.  I can be overly dramatic!  At 8 pm that night I was fine and eating a helping of store-bought potato salad, by 10 pm I thought I was in the bowls of hell. I was convinced it was the salad and I had food poisoning.  The next three days had me moaning, looking like I felt, and wishing tomorrow would come quickly.  Hubby brought back the salad to the store and they are doing tests on it and will let us know the results.  However, now my granddaughter Emma has come down with the same symptoms, so maybe it is just a nasty bug that has invaded our systems.

Now I am feeling better and life is so much brighter.  I woke up this morning feeling like me and jumped out of bed (an exaggeration).  I saw the sun and thought "what a wonderful day", and just assumed it must be warm out, even though we got hit in the backside yesterday was some light snow.  Unfortunately, it is only in the low 40's, so there is no reason to put on a sundress yet.  Then came the highlight of my day.  I got on the scale and I was down six pounds.  That is 3 weeks of a diet that I planned to get on   Four days of  lo-cal ginger ale and saltine crackers paid off, although it was a very distasteful experience.  So, now I have a kick-start, my appetite for the sweet things in life has not come back yet, and maybe it is time for me to begin one of my manana goals.  Because of my walking everyday (always followed by a reward), I have not gained any weight during these past retirement months (even lost a size), but I want to keep my health and energy level and losing ten pounds will help.  Twenty pounds would be better, but that won't happen, so better to be realistic and proud.  Besides, the weight would come off my face, my jowls would hang even lower, the creases would be deeper and my eyelids may cascade over the top of my cheeks.  Even as we age, we ladies still have our pride.

My Retirement -An Accounting

Spring has arrived and I'm doing OK

Getting my move and groove on.

I have been retired for almost 4 months now and am taking inventory on what I have accomplished.  I had this mental list of cleaning out the basement, the closets, the cupboards, painting, volunteering, putting my affairs in order and having an organized life;  you know, the fun stuff.  I was beginning to feel a failure as little of that had been accomplished.  I did go through some closets and put together four or five bags of clothes that I would never wear again and had hubby take them to Goodwill.  I started working on the basement and assembled some groups of good stuff I did not want anymore and bad or old stuff that no one would ever want.   I then pointed hubby to it and asked him if he would dispose of them when he had time.  He has done most of his part, and only about 1/4 of it  remains. Of course this is just the tip of the iceberg of the basement, but it is a start.   As for all the other things on my list, they still remain as goals.

I was speaking to my friend Kathy last night and we were talking about my post on the perks of being over 60.  When we spoke about the things we needed to do, the word and song Manana came up and we both remembered this from our youth.  While we congratulated each other for "remembering" something that old (no problem with that, it's 5 minutes ago that I am having trouble with), we laughed at it's meaning.  I have fond memories of my mother singing it often, "The window she is broken and the rain is coming in, if someone doesn't fix it, I'll be soaking to my skin.  But if we wait a day or two, the rain may go away and we don't need a window on such a sunny day, Manana, manana, manana is soon enough for me."  It is a happy tune, and might I add, words to live by. 

I have accomplished some things though but most important,  I have learned how to breathe - an all important factor of life they say.  Through my walking every day (formerly jogging - my lofty ideas have had to come down a notch due to injuries and age) has built up my stamina and my energy level  is so much better (once I get myself going).  Last year at this time a walk around the block would tire me out and I would be panting; now I can easily do six miles and feel fine.  I have also become somewhat adjusted to the solitude I find myself in now.  My life had been about social contact with people as I had worked a great deal of my life and raised a large family.  For the first few months I mourned that loss and it was very difficult.  Now I am getting out more and am pushing myself to start a brand new life.  I know that with spring and more sunlight to inspire me, I will start to bloom.  I have also learned to appreciate my "alone time" and I am looking at it as a gift to enjoy.

So, four months in and my scorecard is really not too bad.  I have written this blog that I have enjoyed (it is my journal), and I have met some new and interesting friends through it.  This transition has been healthy for me.  I still aspire to accomplish many of my goals and do more planning (and follow-through) on my future, as after all, manana is the future.

My Retirement - So, you're over 60

Warm and Wonderful here and I am doing OK

Perks

- Knowing your life is better than Charlie Sheen's.
- You never have to worry about getting acne anymore.
- Your grandchildren like being around you more than they do their parents.
   The junkfood you gave them and the money you slipped into their hands has
   paid off.
- There is time to smell the roses and appreciate the smaller (and better)
   things in life.
- You no longer have to be a slave to fashion; it is more about comfort.  Oh,
   the joys of elastic!.
- Things you once deemed important, are not.
- You are no longer a fussy eater and most things taste good
   (maybe not brussel sprouts).
-  Generic Drugs
- There is more time to garden.
- You know what love really is and recognize it is not always easy and that is OK. 
- Some things are just so much funnier.
- Acceptance, and peace with it.

My Retirement - In an Instant

The week of spring, I am doing OK

Life changes so quickly!

I have been trying to write something for days but what has been happening in other parts of the world leaves me numb.  It does not feel right to me to chatter on with my silly little ramblings.

No one can look upon the pictures we are seeing of the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster and not feel deep emotion for these people and their beautiful country. One moment they were going about their business and in the next second came disaster of  immense proportions. The news keeps getting more ominous and horrific but in the midst of it comes miracles of people finding loved ones and the outpouring of  kindness shown by others.  We want this terrible thing to stop and go away and for them and us to go about our normal lives, but it has changed for them and for us all. We are all neighbors in this world.

Most of us have had to face an instant turn of events in our lives.  It leads us down other roads, roads we might not have chosen before, however, is it the road we were destined to follow.  Japan has not only suffered though events of nature, but also the technology of man.  Maybe we can learn from this, but maybe not. 

In these times of human suffering, we want to open our hearts to help in any way we can, whether it be through prayers or actions.  When I think of kindness and goodness, I think of the Dalai Lama and his words of great wisdom.  Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama said, "This is my simple religion.  There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy.  Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." For these people of Japan, many of whom are Buddhist and live by this doctrine, the world will be there for them, our hearts overflow.

My Retirement- Where'd it go

Wiff  of spring and doing OK.

My mind and what happened to it.

Looking back at it, I first started feeling signs of senility creep in when I gave birth.  Those four little beings sucked the brain waves right out of me.  It was subtle at first but when they became teenagers, it accelerated.  I knew I was a-gonner when the first one reached 12 and their one eyebrow lifted every time I spoke.  To them, having to put up with a parent was such a chore.  Poor souls, they had to deal with me, like it or not.  My oldest child was 11 when the youngest was born so it was a long haul getting through them all.  Mind you, they were good kids, all of whom I am very proud, but raising children is not an easy task. Sometimes I look back at it and am amazed at how much patience I had (at least in my memories), and wonder how I was capable of doing it all.  I now have the joy of grandchildren and yes, they are so much easier and have no faults. All those years though of bouncing so many balls in the air, including family, jobs attending college, and  trying to get everything done and be perfect at it (again in my eyes)  took a toll.  I think I lost about 25% of my brain cells during that part of my life.  So at around age 50 when two were out of college and on their own and I was rounding the bend with the other two, I took a breath and tried to regroup (my midlife crisis). I can tell you there is no regrouping in motherhood, it is a lifelong journey where guilt and fear for their safety never ends.  They did not ask for this, I just took it upon myself to be a forever worry-wort when it comes to my brood. Take another 10% off of my brain cells for this.  If you are counting, you will see I am only 65% "with it".

I have come to the point of my life where I spend quite a bit of my time looking for things that I know I just saw or had.   Some thoughts and words just pop like bubbles from my mind.  Where did they go; I know they are still there as the memory comes back to me some time later, but they are not there when I want them to be.  My friends and I compare notes and laugh about our senior moments.  It is a sisterhood of the brain cell deprived.  I wish there was something that we could do or eat to rejuvenate our minds, but so far there is only laughter and that gives us comfort. 

The other day I was sitting in my office which is a front room of my home.  I was looking out the window and suddenly a thought came upon me that I wanted to share with hubby and my daughter who was visiting. I got up, walked 2 rooms away into the family room  and announced to them " I am so glad that...., oh gosh, thought gone.  They stared at me while my mouth hung open with no more words coming.  Something popped again. The positive part is that I was glad about something, and that is a good thing.  I did remember the next day and it had to do with my front garden, but it did not redeem me in hubby's or daughter's eyes.  However, I was relieved it popped back in and what the heck, it was not important anyway.  That's my version and I am sticking with it. 

Small thoughts matter not!

My Retirement - Grumpy Old People

Looking forward to spring and doing OK

Woe is me.

We have a section in our paper called "Sound Off" which allows people to call in, air their complaints or even say something nice without giving their names. As you might guess, the former is more likely to happen.  To my great embarrassment, most of these people are seniors.  I know this because they either sign off as "A Senior Citizen", or have it somewhere in their rant.  They complain about their neighbors, their neighbors dogs and cats, politicians, public officials, teachers, other people's religion, illegal aliens, pot holes, people's driving, laws, no laws, the country is going to hell in a hand basket, and anything negative one could imagine.  We all have opinions and strong beliefs, but expressing your thoughts in a column where you don't have to take ownership of them seems cowardly to me.  With all this said, I have to admit that it is the first thing I read even though it is on page 2.  I compare it to watching a car wreck; you know what you are going to see will not be pleasant, but you look anyway.  Some people have legitimate griefs but they are not going to do anything about it except whine, whine, whine. One of the continuing subjects has to do with people not putting on their car lights when it is raining, a relatively new law.  A few of these S/Cs actually gave a count of the cars passing by their house that were disobeying this law. Imagine spending your limited time on this earth looking out your windows, watching your neighbors driving habits and accusing them of being terrorists of the roads.  Some of these sound-offs are fear-based and I understand as I have some of these concerns myself, but I can do nothing about yesterday, tomorrow is always a day away and what little I can control about my life (which includes my mood) is up to me. These people sometimes sign off with names like "Jeez Louise',  "Sick of it all",  and of course, "Disgusted Senior Citizen",  and I wonder if they ever have a good day.   I am not discouraging activism, as I am all for that, but being petty is so unattractive.

I wonder what happened to these people to make them so negative and mean-spirited.  Bad moods are something we all suffer, but when we let that and fear take over our lives, we miss so much.  This week I am going to go to the Philadelphia Flower Show which is celebrating French gardens.  Aah, there is nothing so lovely as a garden, it is so full of promise and joy.  Maybe I will call into Sound-Off and tell them what a fun day I am having; I am sure some grumpy old people will call in and say "Why aren't they celebrating an American garden."

Take the time to laugh today, it is good for the soul.

My Retirement - Reasons to Drink Wine

Winter is gone (I hope) and I'm doing OK

An appreciation of Vino

1)   It is celebratory.
2)  The glasses are elegant.
3)  Goes well with cheese and chocolate, the foods of life.
4)  Good for your heart.
5)  Calms your nerves.
6)  Promotes better brain health, although not necesarily in the hours after you
     have consumed a bottle by yourself.
7)  It denotes a certain sophistication and when you use words like woody, bold,
     complex, smokey, and  full  bodied, people will look at you and pay
      attention. You will "think" they are impressed.
8)  Sometimes a moderate price wine tastes just as good as the more costly one.
9)  It can become a religious experience.
10) Helps you love everyone.

James Thurber cartoon: Three people at a dinner table look quizzically at their host, who has a glass in his hand and a manic look in his eye, saying, "It's merely a naive domestic Burgundy, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.

I say, it is nice to sit down with your family and friends, look around the table and smile, have a good meal and enjoy a moderately-priced, fine wine together. 

Cheers!

My Retirement - Ain't Necessarily So

Third month and I'm doing OK

Snakeoil

As much information that we have now at our fingertips, how much of it is real?   P/R execs, commentators with their innuendos, overblown advertising, and even lighting and airbrushing have taken (a small) part of the truth and made us believe that what we are hearing and seeing is absolute. Everything is targeted at specific audiences and then expounded upon thru the media.  The truth is no longer black or white, but multicolored with many layers. 

Years ago TV advertising mostly consisted of soap products, cars, kitchen appliances and over-the-counter drugs like Alka Seltzer.  We all used soap, homeowners like shiny new appliances, cars were everyone's dream and we all had gas once in a while.  Now, cars are still a big draw, soap products are not promoted as much, the amount of refrigerators advertised has gone way down, but the corporations can still count on us all having gas.  The products marketed  have changed so much in the past ten years, especially with all the new technology offered and the speed of which they have evolved.  High tech is marketed to the very young and the very hip.  That leaves me and the millions upon millions of other boomers out.  The only thing hip about us are our titanium ones.  This brings me to what seems as the #1 product advertised, prescription drugs.  Half of the diseases I have never heard of but after seeing them over and over, I am not quite sure I don't have them.  TV ads can be very convincing.  A few years ago they were airing a commercial about having shaky legs and it seemed ominous.  It was called RLS.  It became a topic of conversation in the workplace and among my friends.  At least half of us were sure we had this frightening ailment.  Doctor's offices must have been flooded with patients inquiring about this syndrome.  I always shake my legs, but I thought it was because I am annoyed at something or anxious (my middle name). My mother always did this also and my siblings and I knew that when her leg started moving, we should all run for the hills. Now we are told it is RLS, the disease du jour in 2008. I looked it up and although it is somewhat real, it is uncommon and usually associated with severe kidney disease.  It is rarely listed as a diagnosis. It is not so much an ailment as it is a symptom.  How could this be when a drug company was spending millions to advertise their medicine and scaring thousands of gullible people.   Maybe this drug helped some but I am sure the ads caused more heart palpitations when people noticed that they were swinging their legs around and became convinced that it was a sign of impending death.  I have not noticed this ad in a few years, so maybe it didn't sell.  I am sure though that in some board room there are a bunch of executives going through the alphabet thinking up a new acronym for a new disorder to sell to us boomers.

BTW, we no longer have gas, it is SAR or acid reflux - so much more acceptable.

My Retirement - Sins of the Mother

End of February and doing OK

How I ruined my daughter's life!

As I reflect on my life, I feel quite proud of how I raised my children and how well they turned out.  They are all good people and I am so proud of them.  I give myself a pat on the back for a job well done.  Three of my children live within 45 minutes of me and I am blessed to have them so close.  My #2 child though was an adventurer and after finishing an internship in Colorado, headed out to see the country.  Her old car broke down in Santa Cruz, Ca and that is where she has stayed these past 17 years. She has gotten a new car, a great job,  a wonderful family and life and we all agree that she has found her shangri-la.  It hurt so  much when she left us but you raise children to let them fly, have their own dreams and fulfill their destiny.  It is the way it should be.  It took me awhile to adjust to her move, but with the Internet, you are never more than a few clicks away. 

I named her Heather Elise, a name I had read in a book when I was about 12.  I had never heard this name before and it sounded so lovely and peaceful and I was determined that would be what I would call my first daughter.  Apparently everybody else had read this book and the year that my daughter was born, that was one of the names most commonly given to girls - or at least so it seems.  You don't hear it much anymore as Madison and Emma and Emily have taken over, but in the early 70's Jennifer and Heather were the names of choice. I am still glad I called her that, as it fits her well.  She is my wildflower that will grow and thrive in both the loveliest and more difficult of circumstances.

 

With all this said, #2 child told me recently what a horrible thing I did to her when she was young.  I listened in amazement as she related to me how I had sent her to school in the 1st or 2nd grade in a Dolly Parton costume made by me and she is still trying to get past the trauma that I put her through.  I actually thought I had been quite clever, but seemingly this was not the case.  Let me explain. Back in the late 70's Dolly Parton was extremely popular, she was the Lady Gaga of today.  I never liked those cheap-looking Collegeville costumes that were available in those times so I made all my children's Halloween regalia.  I spent months thinking of themes that would be clever and would win them a  prize in the all important parade, one of  the highlights of the year in our small town. Top prize was a big $5.00, well worth the anxiety.   I made Star Wars creatures (with lights attached), Colonel Sanders, chicken legs, Gumby,  and even an Adams Family group.  They always won something and one year captured 1st prize.  People looked to me for ideas as I was Halloween Mom. When I think about it now, was it about me, not them. Was I like those crazy people in Toddlers and Tiaras?   For #2 child, who never mentioned this to me until almost 30 years later, the grapefruits that I put in her Dolly Parton outfit were over the top.  Who would have thunk? Then there was the episode where she was pelted with candies as she walked down the parade route wearing balloons for the Fruit of the Loom grapes outfit.   To add to this, a few years after these disasters, I also talked her into having me give her a hair permanent which turned out to be a very frizzy Afro in a year she was attending a new school.  I knew about that right away as she cried for days and my heart hurt for her. This Dolly Paton episode though was news to me.though.   So I say #2 child, it is the the tough times that make you stronger and give you character.  It has enabled you to have your wonderful sense of humor and you are fearless.  I didn't do it on purpose, I thought they were all good things, and you really looked amazing as Dolly.  Wish I could find those pictures.

• 

My Retirement - Forest Gump

The snow is melting and I'm doing OK.

Life is like a box of chocolates and it is all about what you choose.

I love chocolates and they don't have to be a premium brand; M & Ms will do just fine.  They are easy to pick up, you always take more than one at a time and they can be put in the mouth as a group and are consumed quickly. There is little evidence that you ever indulged.  Nobody will know you broke your diet (except if you kept them in your hands too long and the tell-tale colors are on your fingers). My philosophy is that if nobody saw you eat them, there were no calories consumed. 

Most gift boxes of chocolates contain at least one or two candies wrapped up in a foil.  They look so special and your eyes go to them first.  It is a mystery candy which makes it desirable.  I have found that more times than not when I bite into one of these, it is the plainest chocolate in the box; it is just gussied up to get your attention but has no substance.  Then there are the creams - some vanilla, some fruit flavored and some chocolate.  Good, but kind of what you would expect; it is usually a safe choice but somewhat boring.  Caramels are chewy and take a while to consume.  These you will remember for at least a few minutes after eating them as they tend to stick to your teeth.  You like that they stay around, but they can give you cavities. Cherries are sweet and there is usually only one in a box, so you are lucky if you get first pick.

Now to my favorite, nuts.  I do like those chocolate covered peanuts. There is nothing complicated about them, you know what you are getting all the time and it is a great combination.  Another are Hazelnuts, they stand out with their size and it is hard to resist, but when you bite into them you take the chance of breaking a molar. My first choice though is the chocolate with the tiny pieces of nuts.  The texture is just right, you get to chew without the fear of breaking a tooth and you get an equal amount of both composition and flavor. Perfect! They do tend to get stuck in between your teeth and gums but all the better as you get to indulge in them for awhile.

Then, of course, in every life there are some jelly chocolates.  It is about disappointment and how you deal with it.  You can dwell on it or you can use it to learn and move on. I'd like to think that I have gained the most from the jellies. They have made me stronger, smarter and more resilient.  All in all though, I would rather have more M&M days with a Twix bar thrown in.





.

My Retirement - One More MonthTill Spring

8 Week of Retirement and doing OK.

Looking forward!

Last week was a reprieve from winter.  There was no snow, no ice, no temperatures below freezing, and no weather anxiety.  Body shop dealers could take a week off.  The local TV news shows had to find something else to frighten us.  Of course, they had to tell us not to enjoy what we had because there was something on the horizon that would bring our happiness to a crashing end.  However, while we had sun and temperatures hitting the 70 degree mark in February, I basked in its glory.

Although it has been cold, we have not had to endure a winter like we did last year.  While our average snowfall is 36", 2010 brought us 86.6" with 62.8" falling in February (2 storms), so anything is better than that.  We have had snow but only 3" to 8" at a time and it really mattered what town you lived in.  There could be a difference of 6" between a few miles.  Most of the time this year, my area has been on the low end and as Martha Stewart would say, that is a good thing. Then last week we had that wonderful "spring in winter" interlude.  It was so beautiful, I took my Mayo Clinic, 5K run, 7-week training course for beginners outside.  The first day you walk-run (45 seconds for walking, and 15 seconds for jogging) for 30 minutes and I came back alive, a definite positive.  I did OK but found that running on pavement is a little different than running on cherry wood floors.  I kept up my training all week and came to the conclusion that I might have to alter my goals.  As the days went on I also found that it was harder on my lungs and maybe my heart.  I am not totally crazy, so I thought it over and decided that I might have to just walk.  I will continue with my plan and find some kind of race to enter in the spring, only I will be going slower.  My family might have to wait a little longer for me at the end but I will finish.

While I did my training outside last week I passed so many of my neighbors smiling.  Good weather seems to bring out the best in us all.  People greeted me, commented on the beautiful day and then all said something to the effect that this would not last.  Bummer!  We all know that is probably true as it still is February, but we only have the moment, we should embrace it and not think of the negative.  Spring is coming, it is less than a month away.  I am thinking in those terms now and am already planning on what seeds and flowers that I will plant this year.  This is great fun for me and as I listened to all the weather people say to get ready for another one-two punch (their phrase of the year), I think what flowers I will order today.

Speaking of negativity, while we were enjoying a salad last night with my daughter, hubby mentions that he has printed out an Internet article that tells you how much pesticide is on vegetables and fruit.  He promptly got the print-out and before we had finished our "healthy" meal, we were informed that everything we had consumed was loaded with organisms and poison.  Bon appetit`. He is a good guy with such a big heart, but he can't help himself, he thrives on calamities, for him, it is about survival.  I guess it is part of the caveman thing .

Find a good story and laughter in all things; it will comfort you.

My Retirement, A Day of Memories

Moving on with my life and doing ok.

Relatives can be chancy, Friends you choose, Old Friends you cherish.

I can't be funny today, my heart hurts with thoughts of the loss a year ago of a friend.  Time has gone by but  there is not a day that I don't think of her.  Pat has left me and all those who loved her with wonderful memories of her wit, her great smile, her joy of planning and the funniest stories ever told. 

We were a group of 5 women who had known each other for over 35 years.  We raised our children together, were there for each other when our children married and when our parents died. We went on vacations together and met each other monthly for a Ladies Night Out.  Once or twice a year we invited our hubbies and that was fun also, but the friendship of women is something special.  We talked about everything and when one of us was having problems, we were all there to console and somehow at the end of the day or evening, we would all be laughing.  We were five very different people, me being the most intense, yet they put up with me and loved me anyway.  Pat was non-judgemental, seldom got into any deep political/religious conversations, loved to talk about her family (always a funny story), and enjoyed living in her hometown and knowing almost everyone. This was not to say she wasn't spirited; she was adventurous, she was a planner, she was our leader!  We depended upon her to find fun things for us to do and she never let us down.  The times when I laughed the most was when I was with my friends on an outing orchestrated by Pat. I miss that so much.

Life goes on but it is changed.  It has been deminished because we no longer have Pat to talk to, to laugh with and to have as a friend.  Our monthly Ladies Night Out has become semi-annual, when one of us pushes to have one.  Yes, time does heal somewhat and now the holes in our hearts have been filled with the memories of all the good times, fun and laughter that we shared together. The Fab Five, as we called ourselves, will go on as our friendships have no ending. It will always be Pat, Barbara, Kathy, Herta and Arleen. My life has been blessed.

My Retirement - Moving on

End of my 6th Week of Retirement and doing OK.

Chariots of Fire

I am motivated by inspirational people, movies, music and quotes. I am so sentimental that I cry when I see the flag raised.  If I read something in a newspaper or book that tugs at my heart, I cut it out and paste it somewhere.  I read them over and over.  Music is part of my heart and I will play the same songs for months or possibly years, until they begin to get on my nerves, (ex: I Hope You Dance). However  I am not very nostalgic for old times or old music, I think of tradition as somebody else's idea or something to be improved upon.  I try to live in today and now, and for the moment.

No matter my doubts and fears, I  believe in myself.  I always thought that even if things pile up on me, that somehow I would get them all done.  Don't misunderstand me, I have always had family and friends to get me through the tough times and I have no trouble asking for help.  It is difficult for me now to accept that I can no longer do some of the physical or mental  things I once thought easy, but as long as I am vertical, I will try my best.

If you had read my prior blogs you will remember me saying that I have started jogging, something I never would have considered even a few years ago.  I am not an athlete and sports and me have never mixed.  In my younger years hubby encouraged me to play tennis, even buying me a pair of Tom McCann bobos and a tennis racket.  When I took the lessons I hit very few balls, as a matter of fact, I ducked when I saw them coming at me.  I compare going to those sessions as being in a dentist chair having all my teeth extracted.  It was not fun.  I have quit very few things in my life, but after lesson 3, I was out of there. Tennis was not the only sport that would put me in a state of extreme panic. I used to cringe at the words "anyone for volleyball" or "where's the Frisbee".  It still sends shivers up my spine and I am grateful for old age and my friends infirmities (from these sports) that I no longer have to hear those words.  However, now that I am sort of running, I am enjoying myself. There is no euphoria that I have heard others have after a run, but seeing what I can do gives me such satisfaction.  Unfortunately, two weeks ago, I hurt myself and could no longer run. . My ankles and heels hurt so bad that when I walked, I looked like a penguin.  I gave it a rest for a week and once I felt better, I tried again.

I am being sensible this time, I decided to wear sneakers (after advise from absolutely everybody) and instead of doing it all at one time, I broke it up into 4 sessions per day, doing 4000 to 5000 steps each time.  Because I like to be inspired, I found "music to run with" on the net.  Now if you are passing by my house, you may hear "Chariots of Fire being played over and over again all morning and afternoon.  It changes my mood and I find myself swaying my shoulders and moving my arms like they do in the video.  I don't wear white pants and shirts like the actors, as it is a fashion faux pas to wear white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day.  I now also have a partner, my 16 year old rickety cat.  Martian is a smart old guy that has been my constant companion since I retired. I just have to pat my leg and say come-on Martian, and there he is right behind me.  He can't run like before but he can walk fast, not dissimilar to his owner.  He must have done at least 10 laps with me, sometimes taking shortcuts under tables.  The rest of the time he would sit on chairs or couches that I would pass and give me a high five with his eyes.  OK, now I figure you are all raising your eyebrows at me, old lady running around the house with her old cat to the sounds of Chariots of Fire thinking the cat is giving her a high five.  You all probably think that I am one step from senility.  I can see your point!  However, I have a plan.  Next week, when hopefully the snow melts and the temperature rises to its projected 60 degrees, I am taking my running outside.  I will have to buy an IPod, or one of those "I" things so I can hear my music, but I intend to build myself up so that by the time my birthday comes in June and another nasty number defines me, I can enter some small race, hopefully with my grandchildren, and finish without the EMT on the medical van that follows the runners putting me on a stretcher.  I know I can do it; yesterday I finished 8.5 miles.  I am woman, hear me roar.

My Retirement, Six Weeks Already

 Moving on and doing OK

So I was thinking......

1.  It is good to think, as who knows how long that will last.
2. In my dreams I am young; my subconscious  has not caught up with reality.  For those seven hours I am wearing size 6.
3.  Being in a bad mood and feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of time. 
4.  However, people who are always perky can get on your nerves - especially when you are in a bad mood. 
5. Junk food really does taste better than healthy food - even though we would never admit this to anyone
6. The oldest child in the family does have it the hardest. Glad I was a middle one.
7. The happiest people in the country live in the coldest states. What about shoveling snow and wearing hideous hats 9 months a year makes them happy?
8.  Why do people watch the reality show Hoarders?
9.  The worst feeling to have is lonliness
10. The best times are those when you are surrounded by family and friends.

My Retirement, Second Month +

February, the cruelest month and doing OK

One of my Friends is a Winery - another blog on Technology.

The word "friends" has a new meaning in our times.  Friends now include people we only really know in cyber-life, those we once vaguely knew and now with whom we share all the mundane parts of our lives.    Last year I joined Facebook.  Oh, how happy my children were!  I am sure they gave some thought about accepting "Mom" as a friend.   

I notice that all the younger people have hundreds of friends. It seems like a popularity contest.  Sadly, on the web I only have 30 (but more in real life) and one is Peju Winery in California.  However, having a winery on my Facebook wall is a quite nice.  It adds a certain perception of joie de vivre to my image.  I do have an association with this site as I visited it in Napa a few years ago with my daughter and her family.  It is a beautiful place and they do have fine, fine, very fine wine.  I have recommended them to people who are visiting Napa and they all were quite impressed; they have even joined their wine club. My son is one of these people and has kindly given us some bottles but hubby has been saving them for a "special occasion". I do not know what that occasion will be, but at our age I hope it comes soon.

I just began  texting and can see how that can become addictive. I just love to hear that little ding-a-ling when I get a text.  I feel a real part of this new age!  I'm cool, I'm hip, and it is all so sweet.  (Yes, as you can see, I am not quite up to the latest urban slang, but I did not say "groovy").  Until a few months ago I though of texting as another form of communication that further detached us from others. Now, however, I look for reasons to text people.   It is also a new language and spelling correctly is not necessary.  I am beginning to learn "this talk" and have been thinking of new abbreviations to add.  Instead of LOL, we mature people could write PMP  (figure it out) when explaining our excitement when hearing something funny.  I am behind in this text talk though, so most of what I can come up with probably has been used for years.  However, finding new acronyms can be a new goal of mine.

Facebook, Twitter, Texting, My Space (once the rage, but hear little of it now), are what makes the world go round.  Egypt's new revolution was spread by the use of Twitter and everything came about so quickly that it surprised most nations' leaders.  It is amazing and frightening at the same time.  Today is about instantaneous information, however important or correct it may be.  It has become difficult for many of us to keep up as communication/technology is changing at breakneck speed. I am suffering from whiplash at times and feel old and passe. I still am amazed though at what has come about in my lifetime and look forward to the future and more remarkable achievements. It's a rollar coaster and I want to be on the ride, even if it is only through the first loop.

My Retirement, Month 2

Starting the 2nd month of Retirement and doing OK.

Never buy pants without sitting down in them first.

Last week, on a very cold day (but without snow), I embarked on a shopping trip to an outside mall.  I needed to get some gifts for my granddaughter who was turning 10.  If you have been reading this blog, you will agree that I need to get out of the house - really bad!.  I was on a mission and passed by all the women's stores with their 50% off sale signs because I was there for one purpose only - for my sweet Emma.  However, a 70% off sign caught my eye, stopped me in my tracks and lured  me inside.  I had no intention of buying anything but "just look".  I am always attracted to black pants and have at least 10 of these hanging in my closets, but there is always room for one more.  I grabbed a few and off to the dressing room I went. Now this store is not exactly a BCBG or PacSun where hips can be no more than 32", but it was not a Lane Bryant either; it was a middle-age to mature woman's boutique.   The slacks easily went on, I did not have to lay on the floor and zip them up so things were going well.   They looked OK in the front and felt comfortable, but then I turned around.   The seat seemed to start at the back of my knees.  My body parts have dropped, but I did not think that far down.  The legs were so wide, that I could picture myself getting caught in them and falling down the stairs.  The small blurb in the paper would say, "elderly woman trips on her pants and taken to trauma center".  Sadly, I think I would probably be more traumatized by the word elderly attached to my name than breaking a few bones   Thinking this was just a particular style, I tried on another pair but the result was the same; I looked like a homeless person.  Out the store I ran and told the saleswoman that nothing fit.   I felt depressed and  decided not to ever go into that store again.  I went to the Tween store Justice and bought my Emma some "skinny jeans" and some shirts. Skinny jeans and spandex, words that I have outgrown in more ways than one.   On my way out of the mall I passed  Jones New York and decided to try again in the hopes that my future wardrobe would not include pants that look like potato sacks.   I was  checking  through the racks when the sales lady came up to me and said, "Ma'am, you are in the wrong department, the smaller sizes are in the front."  I could not have been more excited if I had been told that I had won the lottery, my whole mood changed instantly. Life was looking up!  I thanked the woman profusely and proceeded to shop my heart out.  Unfortunately, everything in there was made for a 5'8" woman (I'm 5'4 and shrinking by the moment), even the scarfs had to be wrapped around me a few times.  Now I am questioning about what she meant by small.  As I said, I was not out to shop for myself, but my pride was now on the line.  Onto my third store and one that always has jewelry that I like.  If nothing else fit, a necklace would. I found some black pants that said "tapered  and thought "that might work".  Into the dressing room I went with 3 pairs in hand. One looked just like the jeans that I had on so I eliminated that.  The other two seemed a little big, but put my tush back in an area that looked like the top of my legs. The sales lady knocked on my door and asked if she could help me.  I remembered what the lady in the 2nd store told me about my size and boldly asked for a 10.  A 10, it has such a nice sound, it is not a 6 like all first ladies wear (or say they wear), but it is not a 12, my size for the past few years.  I tried them on and I felt svelte and tall.  No hanging butt, no yards of material threatening my life, no turning pants up 4 inches on the bottom, I was thrilled.  They were not on sale, but who cares, they were a smaller size.  The jogging around the house was paying off!  The day had turned around, I had bought my granddaughter some gifts and I was walking out with two new pairs of black pants that would make me feel like a new woman. 

Then I went home and put one of them on to show hubby.  He did not notice, but then again, I always wear black or brown pants in the winter so I'll give him that.  However, I wanted him to compliment my new tall, thin appearance with no hang ass.  Alas, there was no reaction.  I went into the kitchen and sat down dejected.  All of a sudden a pain came over me; it was like a Slurpee headache in my stomach. I thought my eyeballs would pop out.  The pants had some kind of elastic that seemed not to expand when the body is put in a seating position.  They were pressing into every organ in my body.  I remembered that I was so happy about how I looked standing up in these sleek pants, I never thought of sitting down in them.  I am sure there is some defect in them.  I took them off, put on my full bodied sweats and had some M&Ms.  My new purchase is now hanging in the back of my closet waiting for the day that I will fit in them without pain or when I will go someplace where I will only be standing. 

I will tell you that the other pants I bought fit well and they do not inflict any suffering upon me.  I put them on before we went out on Saturday night and then hubby, instead of saying how good the slacks looked,  asked me when I was going to change into my clothes.  He did not notice how tall or thin I looked, he just thought I was still wearing my pajamas.   So much for style.

To the chagrin of my children, I am thinking of buying the new thing - the Pajama Jeans. If  these embarass them too much,  I can wear my Snuggie over them.

Retirement, End of Month 1

End of Month 1 of Retirement and doing OK.

Communication

As I have mentioned before,  I am living a vampire's life this month and have only been going out at night. Hubby, bless his heart, comes home at 5, sees my mood and says "lets go someplace".  Most times I do (whether I want to or not), but lately with all the snow we have been having, I have been home-bound day and night.  Our evenings now consist of sitting in the family room in our assigned seats and telling each other about our day.  After those 2 minutes, hubby will talk about the cats and I will nod.  I have found that if our conversations go beyond these boundaries, we will spend the rest of the evening saying "huh, what did you say".  We both have some hearing problems from a car accident we had about 10 years ago and, of course, age has played a part in it also.  My loss is in my right ear and his in his left.  We have become one of those Shoebox cards that I used to laugh at.   He denies that there is anything wrong with him, it is me, I have an accent (left NY at age 16) and I am mumbling. There is no point in arguing as my philosophy has always been  "why go into battle after you have lost the war", so he goes back to talking about one of the cats and I go back to nodding.

My Retirement, End of 4th Week

Day 25 or so of Retirement and doing OK.

Fear and Snow

Weathermen are terrorists!  They usually look like mild-mannered geeks or are beautiful blond women.  Don't let their appearance fool you.  They are there to cut short your life by years through the spread of fear and anxiety.  Their predictions, even with Doppler (whatever that is), charts, and other weather instruments are going to be either right or wrong - and except for hurricanes and other such possible disasters where people can be evacuated, can we really do anything about it since we have no control of mother nature?

The East Coast has been hit with snow storms about every week since late December.  However, before the winter season started, the weather broadcasters were predicting "how bad" it will be so we can all start worrying about what's to come .  As winter approached, they unleashed their fear campaign, and even if the weather that day was not too bad, they needed to tell us about the next "big one" that was coming soon.  Day by day, they tell us about this imminent disaster. Blood pressures now rise and anxiety takes over.  Then it snows and life as we know it does go on. 

We in the Middle Atlantic states have four seasons, summer when it is hot, autumn when it cools, winter when it is cold with a probability of snow, and spring when it will warm up and may be rainy.  It has been going on for ages.  Why is it big news, why has it become sensational?

I can tell you my hubby loves watching weather reports.  His favorite TV is the weather channel.  Second though is to watch weather patterns on the Internet.  He gets excited over the thought of a bad weather system, the worse, the better.  It might be a male thing.  He looks unkindly at me when I tell him that looking through the window or going out will tell me what the weather is like.   This drives him crazy and that is probably why I say it to him.  It is a female thing. 

Yesterday, the predictions were not quite right and the snow came down 12 hours before expected.  The news programs geared up and it became all about snow, snow, and more snow.  Granted it was a big storm and the area got from 4 to 6" between the hours of 5 am and 2 pm.  I had the TV on and every half hour they showed cars sliding up and down hills.  They showed people shoveling, kids making snowmen, and people complaining that they had never seen the likes of this.  They must have short memories as last year we got 2 or 3 storms of 25".  These broadcasts went on all day and then the 4 o'clock news came on for 2 1/2 half hours showing cars sliding up and down hills, people shoveling, kids making snowmen, and people complaining that they had never seen the likes of this.  At the end of this newscast they said they would return for a one hour special at 7 for another report on the storm.  I think I saw the same Prius sliding on the road going up an embankment and then getting control again at least 5 times.  Overnight we got more snow than the day before and we now have between 9" to 14" on the ground.  It is a beautiful sight, but I say this knowing I do not have to go out and drive in it.  So today the weather reports are constant like yesterday and I just heard the announcer say "more snow on the way"  Oh goody!  I better stock up on meds.

My Retirement, Week 4

Week 4 of my retirement and doing OK

What the hell happened to my eyebrows?

Life gives and life takes.  Changes occur sometimes slowly and.sometimes at rapid speed.  As you age, the body you once had now leans downward. Your clothes don't fit just right, yet you are the same weight. You become shorter and the your body parts have moved closer together.  What's there to do?  According to infomercials, everything can be fixed. Wrinkles on your face, no problem, this cream or that cream will erase them all; can't see, there are laser treatments; balding, there is the hairclub for men and now woman;  face falling, there is a 1 hour procedure that you can have during your lunch hour that will lift your face and make you look 10 to 20 years younger.  They have all kinds of exercise equipment that will stretch you out and and promise to give you the shape of a 20 year old.   These are all tempting (and expensive), as everyone wants youth,. As you may know "old is out" in our society.

Now, I have been persuaded to buy some of these products with the hope of pushing off age-related problems.  I have creams galore, defoliating contraptions and  products that promise thick and shiny hair.  My bathroom is a room of jars. My latest purchase was one I saw on Rachel Ray showing this doctor (?) putting cream on an audience member's  face and then, lo and behold,  a miracle happened within 2 minutes. The wrinkles disappeared!  I got so excited, I ordered it right away.  It has not arrived yet (ordered it 2 weeks ago) but in the meantime I read the reviews.   Apparently, this is for going out at night and being in low lighting and it only last a few hours.  You see, this cream is like a glue substance and begins to flake off after a short time. You cannot stay too long at a party as your face will deteriorate as the evening gets longer.  This might work if you are going to a Halloween costume affair.   You could go as the "The Portrait of Dorian Grey"  For those who are unfamiliar with this book by Oscar Wilde,  Dorian Gray is beautiful and stays young forever, but his picture ages and changes because of the way he lived his life.  I would suggest if you go to a party wearing this miracle substance, you should stay in dim lighting, before you start moulting.

About 10 years ago I went shopping with my friend Anne to Tuesday Morning, a sort of Marshall's for junk.  We came across this mirror that magnified 5Xs and had a light.  My friend told me she had one and loved it, so I bought it.  This mirror is not large, with a diameter of about 2 inches and you can only see half of your face in it. That worked for me as seeing parts are usually better than the whole. Since my sight was getting worse and you take your glasses off before applying makeup, I thought this would help and used it for a few years   Over time I decided to be kinder to myself and got a larger mirror with less magnification. Two months ago, I took it out again - for what reason, I do not know.  It was frightening! One thing that I noticed was that my eyebrows that I had been grooming for years were now balding.  The majority was still there, but with this extreme magnifier, I saw how sparse the hairs were.  This depressed me so and I was bound and determined to find a remedy.  I used brushes and pencils but looking in the mirror, the amount of cover up I was using looked even scarier. I became eyebrow face.  That afternoon I tuned in The Doctors', a TV program with 4 physicians discussing problems that people write in about.  Amazingly, one woman wrote in about losing her eyebrows.  They said it is something that happens to woman (not men, have you seen Andy Rooney?) due to some medical problems or over plucking.  One of their suggestions was hair transplant.  Somehow, I do not think this is covered by Medicare.  How do I explain to hubby that I need $1000 to get my eyebrows back.  I do not think this would fly.  Another solution was to keep brushing them and it might stimulate hair growth.  I have little faith in that as at this point in my life, when I brush my hair, more seems to come out in my comb.  I decided to give it a chance though and for the past week have been routinely brushing  the heck out of my brows.  What do I have to lose.

I want to end this blog with something that my friend Kathy sent me this morning via e-mail.  (You know this is retirees #1 past time, sending jokes or scary information to all their acquaintances.)  However this was so beautiful and touched me so, I wanted to share it .  Many or all of you might have seen this already as anything on the Internet spreads like lightening, but here it is. 
The Bright Red Hat

At 2, she looks in the mirror and sees a princess.

At 7, she sees herself as the beautiful Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.

At 14, she sees herself as a young lady, but fat with pimples and thinks she cannot possibly be seen this way. "How awful" she says.

At 20 years of age, she sees herself as too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall; hair too curly or too straight but she goes out anyways.

At 30 years of age, she still sees herself as too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short but decides she does not have time to fix all that and goes out anyways.

At 40, she still sees herself as too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short; hair too curly or too straight, but she thinks "Hey, I'm alive" and goes out anyway.

At 50, she sees herself in the mirror and says "Finally, I am me".  She goes out and thinks I'm even better!

At 60, she looks at herself and thinks of all the women who cannot look at themselves in the mirror.  She goes out and conquers the world.

At 70, she sees her worth, her wisdom, her happiness and recognizes her ability.  She goes out and enjoys life to the fullest.

At 80, she does not preoccupy herself with looking in the mirror.  She simply puts on her bright red hat and goes out and enjoys all the fun that life has to offer.

Let us enjoy each and every moment and share those with the ones we love.

PS from Arleen
I have reached the age where I can laugh about my life, and  inside I know I am OK and am proud of the woman I have become.  Besides being wife, mother and grandmother, I am me and I am quite something!

My Retirement, End of Week 3

19 days of retirement and doing OK

Time

I wake up every day to watch Good Morning America.  As the hosts and guests are speaking, they stream news on the bottom of the screen. I find this very distracting as I do not know on what to concentrate .  However, for the first 5 minutes I watch the bottom of the screen just to see the words "Good Morning America, the date, day and time is".  This gets me going as now I have the basics and can plan better.

I have never worn a watch or ever felt the need to have one and I have seldom been late for anything.  Of course, this might be due to being married to Father Time.  Time is (one of) his obsession.  If we have someplace to go he will ask me at what time I plan to leave.  I know that whatever I say will not be early enough for him but I say it anyway.  I think we have had more "discussions" about this matter than anything else in our 43 years of marrriage.  We are usually the first ones in a theater for a movie when not even the commercials have begun, we get to parties when the host is still getting dressed, and long before you had to be at the airport two hours before your flight, that was our routine.  My children always remember when one New Year's Eve we decided to go as a family to see  2010, A Space Oddesy. Because hubby was sure the theater would be packed, we left a few hours early for a show that was playing 20 minutes away.  Now back in the 80's most theaters were only showing 2 movies, not like the mega theaters of today, and many times the movies sold out.  When we arrived, there was nobody there and for a few hours I had to listen to 4 winey kids complaining.  My grown up children are seldom on time today and I blame it on that night. I think it is their subconscious still rebelling.

Now back to me.  As I mentioned in my last blog, I have started jogging in my house.  On my first day, I barely got through 3000 steps.  Yesterday, I did 12,240.  Now this was not in one clip.  I had jogged 9237 in the morning and was so in awe of myself.  We went out to dinner with friends that evening and along with a club sandwich I had a glass or two of fine wine.  We had a great time and when I got home around 9, I felt engergized.  I mentioned to hubby that I thought I would run my route for a while but did not get a positive response.  As he fell asleep in his old man's chair, I started my jog. I was not sure my pedometer would add on these extra steps to what I had already done, but I did not care.  I did another 3003 and was so excited when I saw 12,240 steps pop up in my history.  However, my goal everyday is to beat the day before's number and was not sure my old body could do this.  Knowing now that my pedometer would add up all previous runs for the day, I though I could do 4000+ three different times thoughout the day.  Today,  I was ready to start around ten but looked out my window and saw 5 cars parked in front of my house.  My home, being on a corner, is a school bus stop and because of snow, the kids had a 2 hour delay.  I thought it best to wait as I thought people would see an old woman running past the window every minute or two wearing what looked to be a cape (but is my bathrobe). I did not want anyone to call 911.  When the coast was cleared, I started with the intention of doing my first 4000 of the day.  Funny thing is that when I got to my mark, I knew I could do more, so my goal became 8000.  When I reached that number and was still breathing, I convinced myself that I could do 10,000. When I was finally done, the screen on my phone showed 13,003.   I am so proud of myself but now I have to beat that tomorrow.  I also want to do it in a shorter time.

My next blog will be about  compulsive disorders.

My Retirement, Week 3

Week 3 of Retirement and doing OK

Exercise

All the daytime TV shows are promoting "the new year, the new you".  Since it is the new year and my new life, and by the very fact that I am watching  too much TV because there is not much else to do, I have been paying attention to their message.  Exercise, I never really liked it although in my younger years I went to many classes and also worked out with some pulleys attached to a door handle.  Hubby got these for me, such a dear man.  I always told myself and others that I did these exercises for 30 minutes, but if truth be told,it was closer to 10.  I actually thought running around after four kids was enough.  However, now that I have no one to run around after, I have to do something to keep my heart beating. I thought it over carefully as to what sort of misery I could inflict upon myself.  There are gyms, but working out with skinny young people did not appeal to me.  I am also not ready to join one of those "mature" classes where they move slowly around in the water. That would totally depress me as I consider myself "older, not elderly".  Arobics are out as I have always thought of these as something you might see in a Mel Gibson torture movie.  I needed something that would not involve learning routines, people seeing me flopping around and something that when I was through, I would still be alive. 

The word "jog" had never been one of my favorites.  It is a silly word and no one looks good doing it.  The sweat on their clothes and the frightening grimaces on their faces does not say "fun".  However, that is what I am now doing - in the comfort of my home.  I have mapped out a route, carry a pedometer, and each day try to jog further than I did the day before.   My course starts in foyer, makes a left at the livng room, onto the dinng room and once around the table, another left into the kitchen, once around the island, into the breakfast room, go to the corner of the family room, around the coffee table, back into the breakfast room and left into the hallway and back to the foyer.   I am now up to 6023 steps which on my pedometer is 3.6 miles and I am doing this without stopping.  There are times though during my jog when I reach over to the table where the candy dish is and pick up a few M&Ms to help keep me going.    Everybody deserves a reward. 

You might ask why don't I get a treadmill or a stairmaster like most other sensible human beings.   A treadmill is boring and reminds me of my yearly heart examine. A stairmaster would kill me.  I look at my jogging as not only good for my health, but something to help keep my floors shiny.  As I jog, my fuzzy socks that I wear dust the wooden floors very well.  It's a twofer. As my floors have become an obsession with me since I got my new steamer cleaner, keeping them shinny gives me great joy.  Yes, I have to get out more. 

On to my exercise..., you know bathing suit weather is right around the corner and I can't wait to wear one - oh yeah, that won't happen.  The world may not be ready for that.

My Retirement, End of Second Week

12 days of Retirement and doing OK.

Mistakes and Regrets.

Yes, I have had a few but with age they become less important and many times laughable.  My latest was to dye my hair a purple/mahogony color three hours before my retirement party. Now I really hadn't planned on doing such a thing, but when I left work early that day to get ready for my big night, I noticed that my hair was about 3 week past dying.  I did not have time to go to a salon and remembered  that I had some boxes of dye at home. What I found was that they were all different brands and colors.  Companies like to change their packaging often and sometimes confuse me.  I realized that these were "mistake" purchases, however, I was determined to get rid of the grey, time was getting short and I had to make a choice.  One of the selections was darker than the others and after much consideration, I chose that one.  I usually go with a reddish blond, but I worried about it coming out a Clarabell Orange, (which I had experienced once before) so I thought it safest to go with dark. Oh, what a unique shade it was!  It was the color of my drapes.  At the party, everybody was very polite and never mentioned anything about it.  They all complimented me on my necklace.  I know this was to keep their eyes down and off my head . I felt it was a moment where people think "What do I say" so my necklace became the thing to talk about.   However, they have all been witness to many of my foibles, so this was just another "Arleen moment".  I have a reputation. 

Regrets, yes I have some, but that is what life is about.  You can learn from everything and what you do wrong is always a good lesson.  I believe they have made me a wiser and better person.

My Retirement, Week 2

Week 2 of Retirement and doing OK.

"Linguists vote 'app" Word of the Year."  Well that news made my day! Even though I have reached senior citizen status, I am well aware of what an "app" is, however, I am appless.  Somehow, I will survive. Getting information within seconds allows you not to think, answers are instantaneous. The weather report is at your fingertips, although if you put your hand outside, you will be able to feel rain, snow, hail, heat and cold.  If you look up and see the sun or black clouds, you have your answer.  These are the old fashion apps, but they work just as fast and are probably more reliable than a weather forecast. However, on your smartphone, you can track the clouds.  You can worry about that far off weather pattern and because of your anxiety, you miss the good weather you are in at that moment. 

Smart phones will get smarter and unforutnately people won't have to.  There will be no need to remember anybody or anything.  It will all be at your fingertips.  See a person you somewhat recognize, no problem not knowing their name, check your facebook list on your phone and out of the hundreds you have listed, their face will pop up.  They will probably have to look you up also. I can envision a roomful of people at a party glued to their phones looking up everybody on their IPhones or Blackberries to remind them who their "friends" are. 

I must admit that as I get more and more into my forgetful years, this can be a help.  However, do you think any friends around my age will continually replace their pictures as they grow older. They will use photos of their grandchildren or their cat or dog.  I won't use my grandchildren, but I am now looking at photos of my cats to pick out the one who is most photogenic.

BTW (see, I can speak text language) I found my missing sock and now my day is less stressful.

Yes, life has changed.

My Retirement, Day 5

Day 5 and I am doing ok.  Notice the ok is in small letters today.  I'm mixing it up, I feel like being wild and crazy.

The other day I noticed that I was wearing unmatching socks; one was black and the other black and brown striped.  My goal for that day was to find at least one match.  I did not want to set the bar too high and finding the match for 2 seemed a little lofty. As I was searching through the container of unpaired items that sits on top of the dryer, I realized I would never find the black fuzzy one.  A light bulb went off in my head (a monumental moment lately) and I remembered that last year while emptying out the dryer, I came across this flat grizzly item that looked like road kill.  After checking to see that my black cat was still around, I realized that what I held in my hand was the fuzzy sock and it had melted.  It must have been made with some funky material and probably had washing instructions, but who would look for washing instructions on socks. I am curious why I have the other one though.  So my goal for the day went unfulfilled, however, I do still have to find the brown and black match, so I have something to look forward to.

We got some snow this morning; this is the day I have been waiting for.  I NO LONGER HAVE TO GO TO WORK. .  For the past five or so years I have been inflicted with snowitis.  I shake at the site of a flake, but only when I have to drive (or have "hubby drive).  However, I am cured now; I look at this lovely white snow with a new and peaceful attitude.  Retirement is de bomb!  I hope I used that expression correctly, I am trying to stay up to date on pop culture. 


Well, the weekend is here; funny thing though, in retirement, everyday seems like Friday at 4:30.  I might have to get a white board like they have in hospitals and have hubby write, Good Morning, today is Monday or whatever and the date is ....., your husband is Bob


Time to think about going back down to the basement and look at my nice neat piles again, but what about that sock I was going to look for.  Which is more important.  Decisions, decisions!

My Retirement, Day 3

Day 3 of Retirement and doing OK.

I googled myself today. My name appears on Facebook (how cool am I) and Linkedln.  On Linkedln I see I have two contacts.  Wow!  I have no idea who they are but it makes me feel good that someone would want me as a contact.  Of course that was B/R (before retirement).  I wonder how they came up with a name of Linkedln, I get the Link, but the edln, I don't.  I will have to look that up on Wikepedia today - another goal.  I have often mispronounced it to people as Linkeydink. I am sure that impressed them; maybe that is why I only have two contacts.  Perhaps when I let my hair go white and apply for a job at The Hallmark Store where I can dust statues, I can use those contacts.  However, I will have to remember the password to get in the site and there is no chance of that happening.


My name was also referenced in a Sound Off column from the local newspaper.  Last year I had written them a letter about tolerance for other people and their ideas.  This person was very nice to call in and say that she liked what I said and it got me a blurb on Google.  The good thing is that all the hate mail that I received did not.  I am concerned though that about 6 months ago when I also googled my name, I appeared on a few sites.  My letter showed up on Google, some responses were in Google, and I was also on the hubby's ancestory site. Those do not appear anymore.  Am I slowly disappearing from cyber life?  Have the Polish found out I am really Irish?  Then I got on Facebook and asked to see all thse listed with my last name.  There were over 250 names and I was not one of them.  Do you have to have a 100 friends to make the list?  Maybe I will have to give my cats an e-mail address and get them included as my friends.  Maybe they do not include old people in their count because they don't buy enough on line.

Today I have the pleasure of watching over my granddaughter who is not feeling well.  She is the greatest and one of the six most beautiful children ever born.  She is funny and clever and great company and is going to make Day 3 of my retirement go easier.  She is also an excuse for me not tackling the neat piles I have assembled in the basement.   

We just finished watching Alien Autopsy on Comcast, excuse me, Xfinity.   Great movie, must have missed it when it first came out.  Wonder if it will be up for an award this year.  Yes, yes, this is what retirement is all about - the opportunity to experience cultural events.

Because I have company today, I will have to forego some of my organizing till tomorrow.  However, I must have a goal.  I looked down at my feet and I have two different fuzzy socks on so my chore today will be to find the matches. 

Tomorrow is another day!

My Retirement, Day 2

Day 2 of retirement and doing OK.  I am planning on getting my life and junk in order and I hope to be as enthusiastic about this next week as I am this week.  However, my feeling is that my adult attention deficit will kick in on about Thursday or maybe sooner.  It may have already begun.

Yesterday I  took down the Christmas decorations and started classifying them in boxes in my basement.  The key word is "started".  Two of the nine containers are completed.  The rest of the stuff is in different piles on the floor waiting for me to sort out which goes and which stays. At my age I know that two boxes of decorations is enough, but disposing of memories is difficult. I intended to get back to that today but I noticed my new steamer cleaner and chose to do my floors instead. Woo Hoo, such excitement.  The floors look great and the steamer works well.  It usually takes me between 15 to 30 minutes to mop but with my super-duper steamer, it took most of my morning.  Yes, life could not get better.

Last night I decided to actually cook a meal using my new stainless steel oven.   As a working woman, eating out or microwaving 5 minute meals was always OK with me.  I have actually had the oven for 1 1/2 years but other than holidays and occasional heating up of frozen appetizers, it has had minimal use.  I decided on scalloped potatoes, steak and a side salad; a good healthy dinner and it would be a surprise for my husband Bob - and oh, how I love to surprise Bob.  Not having real potatoes handy, I went to my overstocked pantry (which is full of Triscuts and cans of food that I give to the boyscouts once a year) and found some boxes of cheese potatoes.  Easy!!!  I poured the potatoes into my casserole dish, mixed the cheese with the butter, milk and water, poured the mix over the dried potatoes and put it in the oven at 450 degrees.  I got distracted and forgot the salad, but what the heck, Bob is basically a meat and potato man and was excited to have a dinner at home PLUS HE WAS IN A GOOD MOOD - an extra!!  All was going well.  I put the potatoes on my plate and they looked so good and tasted yummy.  The steak was tender and done just right.  Bob enjoyed his meal also and went to take seconds of the potatoes.  All of a sudden I hear him say, "What is this?"  He had pulled out this long piece of cellophane out of the yummy potatoes.  Now, I remember cutting the top of the cheese packet and throwing it away, but I did not remember any cellophane being in the package.  Bob (Mr. Q/C)  investigated and found another box in the pantry and "politely" pointed out to me that the potatoes came in a cellophane wrapping.  This possibly happened when in my enthusiasm for cooking a home cooked meal, I tore the wrapping in such glee, that a piece fell into the food without me seeing it.  Before he went to bed last night Bob suggested I pick out a restaurant to eat in tonight.  However, I am undaunted and will continue to cultivate my culinary talents. 

It's about 3 pm so I guess I should wash my hair and get dressed.  I wouldn't want Bob to think I am going to pot.  I'll only have to wear something "daytime" for a few hours though, I can get back into my pj's by 6 pm. Now I understand why senior citizens wear elastic waist pants, daytime and nighttime clothes are the same.  What you wear to bed, you can wear everywhere.  I am deciding that this is maybe a plus.  Sometime when I get the energy to go out past my mailbox, I'll shop for a few pairs of black "loungewear". 

My plan tomorrow is to clean out a closet, or maybe a cupboard, or maybe I will go back in the basement and look at the nice neat piles I have created and think of another excuse to put that off.